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Report on Talking with Your Crush: Scary or Not?

Smart girls decide for themselves™.

Our Crushers
Who logged on to talk about crushes? Lots of you! In total, 544 people took this survey. Here are some quick stats to get you more familiar with our survey-takers:
  • 503 were girls, 24 were boys and 17 chose not to specify
  • Most of you were between the ages of 11 and 16, with more 13 year olds responding than people of any other age!
  • Oldest children came out in record numbers - 230 of you said you're the oldest in your family, with youngest children next (132).
  • You guys come from many different backgrounds: African (61), Asian (57), European (136), Latin American (49), Middle Eastern (13), Native American (20), Oceania/Pacific Islander (11) and multiracial (65).
  • And you come from all over the world, too. We had respondents from Guyana, India, Pakistan, Belize, Afghanistan, Hong Kong, and Canada, to give a sampling!
  • Current Crush!
    So if we're going to chat about crushes, let's chat about crushes! We figured a good place to start would be with who you're currently crushing on. Who has caught your eye? Who makes you get those butterflies in your stomach? When asked who your biggest crush is right now, 31.54% of you told us you're crushing on a newer friend. Another 27.64% said you like an old friend, and 25.79% of you have your eye on an acquaintance (someone you don't know very well). Finally, 9.83% said you're already going out with your crush, while 5.19% just aren't feeling the love for anyone specific right now.

    And does your crush know about your feelings? For the biggest number of you, that's a yes - 182 of you said your crush knows you're crushing - while another 109 of you indicated he or she probably suspects you like him/her. On the other hand, 75 of you are sure your crush has no clue about your feelings, and 142 aren't really sure if your crush knows or not. Okay, so that begs one big question: do you want your crush to know?
    Do you want your crush to know you like them?
    Here, "knows" means that your crush already knows how you feel.
    Love's Lyrics
    To help give you a little more of an idea about what your crushes are like, we asked, "Do you have a song that reminds you of your crush? If you do, what is it and why does it make you think of that special someone?" We got lots and lots of very unique answers. Here are some of them:
  • "My BFF and I always play My Heart Will Go On from Titanic together on the piano after school when us and our boyfriends are waiting for the basketball games to start at 4 pm."
  • "Teardrops on my Guitar, because he used to like me, and I never liked him, but now he has other girlfriends and doesn't think I ever liked him, when I do right now. He's one of my best friends."
  • "Stronger by Kanye West because while we were hanging out we listened to it and he said, "This is a pretty good song." That just stuck in my head."
  • "'It's All Too Much' by the Beatles, because he has "long blond hair" and his "eyes are blue," like the words of the song."
  • "Uhm, I guess "I Hate That I Love You", because its true! I do. Sadly. And he has a girlfriend. Typical love story. Ugh."
  • "A song my friend found, but doesn't know the name of. The lyrics are: "I hate you, then I love you. It's like I want to throw you off a cliff and then rush to the bottom and catch you." This is because I like my crush so much that I begin to hate him, and yet I still like him. "
  • Heart Habits
    When it comes our love lives, we're all pretty different. Some of us can only handle one crush at a time, while others of us find ourselves liking 3 or 4 or even more people! Some of us have crushes that just last a little while, while others of us are crushing on the same person for a year or more. Where do you fit in? Check out this info to see how your heart habits line up:
    On average, how many crushes do you normally have at the same time?
    Most of you said you only have one or two crushes at the same time.
    How long do you normally have a crush on someone?
    Wow - crushes last a long time! The biggest number of you said you usually have crushes for more than 6 months.
    When you see a crush from a distance, how do you normally feel?
    excited 40324.86
    nervous 34121.04
    scared 1217.46
    happy 38623.81
    surprised 925.68
    upset 181.11
    anxious 23414.44
    none 160.99
    don't see 100.62
    While big numbers of you feel happy and excited when you catch sight of a crush, many also feel nervous and anxious.
    Sometimes, our bodies react to those feelings we get. What happens when you and a crush are interacting? Here's what you told us:
  • 313 of you told us your heart beats faster
  • 306 said you get butterflies in your stomach
  • 193 told us you blush or get red in the face
  • 162 said you feel very hot
  • 136 indicated your palms get sweaty
  • 104 told us you stammer or can't speak very well
  • 77 of you shake
  • 72 of you find yourselves with upset stomaches
  • 55 of you told us your mouth gets dry
  • 24 of you said you feel very cold
  • 15 of you wrote in the "other" option that you feel happy or smiley
  • And 31 of you wrote in that you just feel normal!
  • Talking with Your Crush
    It's time to get down to the details - what it's like when you're talking with your current crush. To get started, we asked you to describe your interactions with your crush. We learned that the largest number of you talk with your crush at school, and you guys talk about all kinds of stuff. Other common responses included hanging out with your crush outside of school and communicating with him/her online - via IM or sites like MySpace or Facebook. A fair number of you also said you don't do much interacting with your crush yet.

    Okay, so how often do you guys get the chance to chat? Many of you are able to talk with your crushes pretty often! For 226 of you, that opportunity comes multiple times a day. You guys are lucky! Another 89 said you're able to talk with your crush once a day. Is this enough or are you guys craving more communication? When we asked how satisfied you are with the amount you and your crush talk, we noticed a pretty even spread. Slightly more of you are satisfied with how much you chat with your crush, but almost the same number are dissatisfied - you want to talk more with the person you like!

    So how do these communications occur? Take a peek at this graph to see how you guys make contact with that special someone:
    How do you usually talk with her/him?
    The majority of you talk with your crush in person.
    The above graphs shows how you usually get in touch with your crush. Now compare that to the graph below, which shows how you prefer to talk with them.
    How do you prefer to talk with your crush?
    The majority of you prefer to talk with your crush in person.
    Since many of you do talk with your crush in person, and many of you prefer to talk with your crush in person, is it hard to take the first step and strike up a conversation? While it's not impossible, for a lot of you, starting a conversation isn't easy! More than half you at least find it a bit difficult, while only 92 said it's very easy. We also asked if you count on your friends to help you make connections with your crush, and we learned that all but 165 of you have friends who help you connect with the person you like.

    Once the connection is made and you get up your nerve and get the conversation rolling, what do you talk about with your crush? This table shows some popular topics, and many of you also wrote in that you talk about random stuff!
    What do you and your crush usually talk about?
    talk about
    friends 28316.86
    school 30318.05
    news 623.69
    sports 1398.28
    music 21913.04
    movies 16810.01
    family 1559.23
    feelings 1106.55
    weather 392.32
    no answer 573.39
    other 1448.58
    While school and friends came in at the top, it looks like you guys talk with your crushes about many topics!
    Saying IT!
    After all the talking and the nervous feelings and the butterflies in the stomach, when it all comes down to it, how would you let your crush know about your feelings? What would you and what would you say? To wrap things up, here's what a few of you told us:
  • "I'd just tell him (I'm pretty sure he knows, anyway) - but if I thought I needed to, I'd just tell him straight out that I like him a lot, and I'd like to go out with him."
  • "Hey Adam, It's Valentine's Day and all, and I'm sure you already have a Valentine if not a girlfriend, but I was wondering if our relationship could become more than friendship? You know, can we be together? I've had the biggest crush on you for the longest time, so I thought that you should know... Do you feel the same way too?"
  • "I would like to tell him in email or in person after school. I would probably do it on a Friday so that he can think about it. I'm not sure what I would say."
  • "I have done this before! I'm way too much of a coward to tell him face to face, so I tell my friend, the one who's calm and does this kinda thing often, that I want him to know and she lets him know. Then I see what happens. I probably wouldn't tell her what to say because she is a master. I'm just stupid when I'm nervous!"
  • "Well, because it is almost Valentine's Day, our school is selling carnations that they will personally deliver for you with a special message and your name on it if you want. I sent my crush a white carnation, which means secret admirer, with a message that said,"I just wanted to tell you that I think you're really sweet and that I wouldn't mind getting to know you! :)" I only put my initials on, but I think he'll be able to figure it out; I have one class with him. Even though, we have only exchanged a couple of words, I can sense that he sort of likes me, too. It's very hard to strike up a conversation with him, but I think that the note I sent him will make something GOOD happen!"
  • "I actually told her. It was very difficult, but I said "I don't want you to hate me." She at this time said, "Why would I hate you?" I responded, "I'm sorry, I am always saying the things that I don't want, rather the things that I do, let me say that how I meant it. I really like you, and I want you to like me as well." Everything became much easier after that. "
  • "I would write a poem to him. Cheesy some would say but it's the easiest way."
  • Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with us!

    Please remember that all web-based polls are not scientific because the pollsters cannot randomly select the respondents to participate in the surveys.

    All our surveys are anonymous; check out our privacy policy. All data copyright 1996-2007.


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