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Report on Let's Talk About Friendship: You, Your Friends & Time
Smart girls decide for themselves™.
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In September 2006 all of us here at SmartGirl were interested in finding out about the friendships you have with each other! Read on to learn how SmartGirls feel about friendship.
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Hey SmartGirls! Look at what we found out about friendship thanks to your participation in the survey. Most of you who took this survey were girls. There were only 6 boys and 367 girls. The ages of respondents ranged between 8 and 22 but most of you were between 11 and 16 years old.
Of those that responded:
- 163 are the oldest child in your family
- 70 are the middle child in your family
- 94 are the youngest child in your family
- 40 are only children
The majority of those that responded live in a town or suburb and come from all different backgrounds. Here is a graph showing everyone's different backgrounds. Take a look!
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| Ethnicity |
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Let's talk about friendship! SmartGirl's friendships have lasted a long time. You told us that the friends you've had for the longest time are mainly girls but there were some boys too. Of the friendships SmartGirls have had, most of them have lasted for more than five years. Many of your friendships have been smooth but have also had their ups and downs. Below is a graph showing how long your oldest friendships have lasted.
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| Length of Friendships (in years) |
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Through time, SmartGirls change and friendships change. Here is what you told us about how you have personally changed throughout your friendships.
Of those who responded:
- 52 have changed a ton
- 135 have changed a lot
- 133 have changed some
- 39 have change a little
- 19 have not changed at all
You girls aren't the only ones who have changed, you feel that your friends have changed too. 105 think that your friends have changed a lot and 133 think your friends have changed some. Whether or not you and your friends have changed, 262 of you think that you and your friends will stay friends forever.
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There are many different reasons why your friendships have been successful. Here are a few factors that contribute to the success of your friendships.
- loyalty
- communication
- honesty
- similar personalities and interests
- trust
SmartGirls know that you can make new friends but keep the old friends too. There are three ways you girls manage old and new friendships. The majority of you would invite some old friends to hang out with your new friends if you felt that they would get along with each other. A lot of girls said that they would always invite old friends to hang out with new friends. A smaller number of you mentioned that you try to keep your old friends and new friends as separate as possible.
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Here is a graph that explains in which ways your new friends are different than your old friends.
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| How Are Your New Friends Different? |
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Most of you agree with the statement, "The friends I've known the longest are the friends I'm closest with." However, 100 SmartGirls disagree with this statement. Along the same lines, 150 of you think your old friends are more loyal than new friends, but 172 of you are not sure if your new friends are more loyal than your old friends.
Would it be easier to forgive your old or your new friends if they made a mistake?
SmartGirls said:
- 93 said it would be easier to forgive your old friends
- 28 said it would be easier to forgive your new friends
- 252 said it would depend on they type of mistake your friend made
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Many SmartGirls felt a little jealous when their old friends started making new friends. This graph shows just how jelous you felt when your friends made new friends.
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| Jealousy |
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When SmartGirl friendships started to grow apart, 224 of you said you would put extra effort into maintaining the friendship. However, 149 said you would just let the friendship grow apart. It seems like most SmartGirls do a great job of maintaining friendships because 152 of you are still close with your first close friend. 95 SmartGirls talk on occassion with their first friend, but aren't as close as they used to be. Some of you run into your friend sometimes but don't talk a lot anymore. 36 of you are still in the same group of friends but are not as close. 67 SmartGirls don't talk to their first friend anymore.
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Here is a graph showing the main reasons why SmartGirl friendships have grown apart or ended.
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| Reasons why friendships grew apart |
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There are many qualities that Smartgirls look for in a friend. Take a look at the two tables and compare what your best quality is in a friendship to what you look for in a friend.
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| Friend's Qualities |
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count | percent |
friend_quality
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| trustworthniess |
67 | 18.06 |
| understanding |
36 | 9.7 |
| loyalty |
56 | 15.09 |
| honesty |
47 | 12.67 |
| dependable |
20 | 5.39 |
| listener |
10 | 2.7 |
| sense of humor |
29 | 7.82 |
| patient |
1 | 0.27 |
| kind |
11 | 2.96 |
| intelligent |
4 | 1.08 |
| similar interests |
17 | 4.58 |
| generous |
2 | 0.54 |
| spontaneous |
10 | 2.7 |
| fun |
28 | 7.55 |
| appearance |
1 | 0.27 |
| all of the above |
23 | 6.2 |
| other |
9 | 2.43 |
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Here is a table showing the best qualities that SmartGirls bring into a friendship.
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| SmartGirl's qualities |
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count | percent |
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your_quality
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| trustworthniess |
39 | 10.71 |
| understanding |
40 | 10.99 |
| loyalty |
52 | 14.29 |
| honesty |
18 | 4.95 |
| dependable |
20 | 5.49 |
| good listener |
43 | 11.81 |
| humor |
39 | 10.71 |
| patient |
11 | 3.02 |
| kind |
17 | 4.67 |
| intelligent |
9 | 2.47 |
| sim_interests |
14 | 3.85 |
| religious |
2 | 0.55 |
| generous |
6 | 1.65 |
| spontaneous |
7 | 1.92 |
| fun |
26 | 7.14 |
| all of the above |
14 | 3.85 |
| other |
7 | 1.92 |
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We asked Smartgirls how time affects friendships. Here are some of your responses.
Time definitely effects friendships because as time goes on life and people change. Especially, circumstances change that can lead to friends seeing each other regularly.
I think time affects friendships in good ways and bad ways. It can be good because as you get older and your friends get older, you both grow and learn more about each other and start to know what can affect your friendship. It is bad because sometimes your friends end up wanting other things and start to meet new people who they may feel are more loyal and trustworthy than you. They just grow and learn that maybe you weren't that best friend that they needed.
I think time often has a good impact on friendships. If two people are truly made to be friends, over time their friendship will strengthen as they discover more things they have in common and more things they like about each other. However, time occasionally has a bad impact as people's personalities change over time and friends can grow apart. When this happens, I try not to be sad but to remember all the amazing times we spent together.
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My two best friends have been my friends for three and four years, and our friendships have stayed strong. I think time just tested our friendship, to make sure it was worthwhile. And it was!
I think that as time goes by, people do change. But it's how you deal with those changes that determines whether or not the friendship will last.
Time affects friendships in different ways. In one way, you could grow apart as you meet new people and become interested in new things. It could also make you tighter by giving you plenty of memories and feelings to share throughout the years.
I think the longer you have been friends, the better it gets. You get to know each other so well, it's like you are family. You both know each other's secrets and you know you can trust them. You know you can be yourself around them and know that they will never abandon you.
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Time can be good because it helps sort out strong friendships from weak ones. In some cases, time can bring friends closer as they change and go through life together. In others, time can be bad because it goes by faster than we realize, and before we know it we haven't been with a close friend for a year! I guess if you pay attention and remember to put a little effort into your friendships, time can be a good thing.
I think it totally depends. My oldest friend is still my friend but I see more faults in her now and I feel I've changed a lot and so has she, but for the worse. My newer friends are not that new, about 3 years but I feel closer to them than anything. I think it depends whether your friendship occurred through a period of change, such as growing up.
Time makes friendships stronger. The more memories you have the more you will make and have to look back on.
Time impacts badly on some friendships because you change and begin to grow apart. However, it can also be a good thing because you can discover similar interests and grow closer over time.
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Time has good and bad impacts. But my best friend and I at this time are both involved in volleyball and band. Come late in the year when we both go out for different sports, I think our friendship may be not quite as close and may not have quite as much time to hang out as we have now. Now our schedules are together half of the day, but second semester that will change.
I think time affects my friendships in good ways and bad ways. I have three best friends and all of us are into different things and activities, so it makes it very hard for us to interact during the week. We still talk on the phone practically every day. We do, however, still spend nearly every waking minute together on the weekends. I think that time is a good thing in our relationships because we all have time away from each other which can be good, and then we all get into contact one way or another.
I don't really think time affects friendship. I've been friends with someone for five months, and I feel slightly closer to her then my friends of over six years.
Time kills friendships for me. I only have one good friend that I have known for years and years. All the others have faded or gotten boring.
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Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts
with us!
Please remember that all web-based polls
are not scientific because the pollsters cannot randomly select the
respondents to participate in the surveys.
All our surveys are anonymous; check out our privacy
policy. All data copyright 1996-2000.
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