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Report on Living the Single Life
Smart girls decide for themselves™.
577 SmartGirl users took this survey about being single. A tremendous majority of them were girls; 551 to be exact! In addition to the girls taking the survey, 12 boys also took part, and another 14 of the survey takers did not specify their gender.
Those participating in the survey had a large age range. The range was from 6 years old to 22 years old and higher! The most popular ages for those taking the survey were ages 12-14. Age 12 with 87 participants, age 13 with an overwhelming 138 participants, and age 14 with 85 participants.
In terms of location in the family order, 219 were the oldest child, 168 were the youngest child, 106 were middle children, and 63 were the only child.
The United States was the place most participants lived with 329 of the survey takers coming from there. Other countries with a large amount of participants were England with 55, Canada with 38, Australia with 18, and Scotland with 10.
Also, most participants in this survey lived in the suburbs (139) or in towns (180). 118 of the participants lived in big cities, 42 in villages, and only 4 of these participants lived in rural areas.
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This survey was taken just before Valentine's Day and we wondered how the survey- takers felt about this romantic holiday. A great majority (or 328 participants) thought that Valentine's Day was great! Even though a large majority of the survey participants said that Valentine's Day was a great holiday, 72 responded saying that it was pointless and another 37 claimed that they just plain hated it! Those who really felt indifferent about the holiday were 127 of the participants and those who really just did not celebrate it anyway were 2 of the participants.
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Out of the 577 participants who took this survey, 468 defined themselves as single right now while 64 others are currently in a relationship. This doesn't include the 45 participants who have gone out with someone special but have yet to define the relationship. Of course, what is happening right now isn't all that matters. Past experiences affect current relationships, too. Over half of the participants, 54%, said that they had been in relationships before, while the other 46% said that they had not experienced any relationships yet in their lives.
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| Relationship Status |
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| Single was definitely the most popular answer! |
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In the last question we found out that 468 participants are currently single. Of these single participants a small number preferred single life in all certainty; only 60 of them. Over three times as many, 195 participants, answered that they wanted to be in a relationship rather than being single. The remaining 259 responses were maybe, which I take to mean that they are enjoying single life but are not opposed to a relationship if it were to come along.
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Most girls have great reasons for liking being single. Everyone who has ever been in a relationship knows that drama comes along with the rest of the package, so it is not surprising that the most popular answer, with 262 responses, was not having to deal with relationship drama! The next largest response was getting to spend time with other people, 142 participants like being single so they can spend more time with their friends and 21 use their free time to be with their families. Sometimes people don't like to be in relationships because they feel too committed or tied down which explains why 72 girls responded that they like being single because they can go on as many dates as they want. The remaining 65 participants were happy that they could focus more on school, work and extracurriculars instead of being in a relationship. With all of these great things to do instead of being in a relationship, it is no wonder so many girls weren't sure if they wanted a boyfriend at all :)
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| Best Part of Being Single |
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| There seem to be a lot of great reasons to be single! |
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My personal experience has been that being in a relationship is much easier than being single, but the 468 participants who are single would disagree. Only 34 girls said that being single is very difficult; another 97 people slightly agreed with that saying that being single is somewhat difficult. About one quarter of the participants, 129, were neutral on the issue saying being single is the same level of difficulty as being in a relationship. However, 297 girls disagree with the rest of the survey participants. 149 people said that single life is somewhat easy and 148 people said that it is really easy. Being yourself and not worrying about other girls judging you for being single must be much easier than when I was younger, good for those of you who said single life is great and easy!
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Some women are now choosing to remain single, and are choosing not to get married or have life partners. We asked you what you were planning on doing when you got older. Although the number of women remaining single has increased dramatically in the past few decades, the number of young girls planning on staying single does not seem to be affected. A huge majority, 429 participants, said they wanted to get married or have a life partner and 129 said they weren't sure yet. However, 19 said that they were planning on staying single like many television shows are promoting lately.
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| Relationship Plans in the Future |
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| Some of you are taking your time to figure out what you want in the future |
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It is now becoming increasingly common for children to be raised by only one of their parents. We wanted to know what you thought about this. The results came up divided. 155 people said that single parent households are a great thing while another 170 said that it is not a good idea because only having one parent puts kids at a disadvantage. Of course the majority of respondents were unsure; 252 people said that it would depend on the situations. I was raised in two single parent households; my parents divorced when I was a baby and I think that I turned out just fine, so even though I understand the other answers I have to agree with the people who say that it would be just fine.
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Earlier, most respondents said that they liked being single and listed a number of good things about not being in a relationship, like spending more time with friends. But what happens when your friends are not single anymore? The largest response to how people feel about being single could be attributed to this phenomenon: 234 people said they feel lonely and 155 feel unsatisfied. Then the reverse was the next highest response; 191 participants said being single made them feel closer to their friends. However, many of you also said you felt confident, sufficient, and happy, while other popular responses were excluded and sad. Adolescence is a complicated period in life and many of these feelings can occur at the same time, so it is not surprising that there was such a wide variety of answers.
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| How It Feels to be Single |
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Not only do the majority of participants agree with this statement but so do I. When I was 13, I went out with a guy because he was cute but it turned out that he was going out with two other girls and he only dated us because we were cute. It seems like we should be taking more time to get to know each other before doing anything too quickly. You guys agreed! 199 people definitely agreed that girls your age jump into relationships too quickly with another 171 participants saying that they somewhat agreed with it. Despite these amazing numbers, 119 of you felt neutral about the topic, saying that you didn't feel it was true or false. The remaining 69 girls either somewhat or definitely disagree with the statement, and that's okay because everyone's lives are different and what is right for one person is not right for the next person.
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Do movies show women trying to get in relationships? The majority of participant answers were in the middle of the group. Only 18 people said that they had never seen a movie about a woman seeking a relationship, on the other end of the spectrum only 20 said that every movie they had seen portrayed this theme. The middle of the group said either a few movies had it, half of the movies had it, or most had it. 196 participants thought a few movies they had seen were focused on a woman finding a relationship, 179 said about half were, and 141 said that most of the movie they had seen fit into that category as demonstrated in the graph below.
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| Movies Focused on Relationship Seeking |
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| Almost all have you had seen at least some movies focusing on relationships |
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Since we determined that a good amount of movies are about women trying to get into relationships, we next wanted to know how many movies made being a single woman seem great. Most of you, 336, said that few movies did this. 147 participants said they actually hadn't seen a single movie about a woman being single and happy. 55 people said that half the movies they'd seen had this storyline, 13 said that most did, and 1 said that all movies they'd seen did. Although movies are not portraying single women as great yet, tv shows are catching up with the times.
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| Movies Focused on Happy Single Women |
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| A bunch of you had never seen any movies about a woman being single and happy about it! |
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There were only three responses to the question of how men appear in movies: 1) sophisticated, sexy and not in need of a partner 2) dorky, smart, and needing a partner to make them cooler and 3) uptight, very business-like and needing a partner to help them have more fun. There was only a ten vote difference between the highest and lowest groups. 187 people that group #1 most accurately portrayed men in movies, while 186 participants agreed with description #2. The remaining 177 participants said that description #3 was most like the men they see in movies. These responses are quite different from the way women are portrayed in movies.
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The most common response was that you didn't feel strongly about this statement being true or false, with 191 people saying they were neutral. However, 99 survey-takers agreed that it was more socially acceptable for a man to be single, and 123 somewhat agreed. Also, 59 participants somewhat disagreed, and 79 disagreed with the statement. It seems that the questions only raised more questions for those who were neutral than it answered any questions for others.
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| Single Men More Acceptable? |
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| Not Sure - The Average Response |
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A large group of you, 272, thought that the media sent the message that being single was not okay, and that girls should try to get into a relationship as soon as possible. However, 156 participants thought that they media conveyed very little difference between being single and being in a relationship, and 137 thought the media made being single seem great! From my experience I would say that the media does have an impact but that you should not listen to it and follow your heart instead!
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Some of you seem to feel very pressured to be in relationships, 103 to be exact, while another 151 of you don't feel any pressure at all. 129 of you feel a little pressured to be in a relationship, and 107 feel somewhat pressured. So where does this pressure come from? The most common sources seemed to be classmates, which 229 of you agreed on, and friends, with 225 responses. The media seems to play a huge role too, as the next three most popular choices were movies, magazines, and music. Try not to let the pressure get to you, just be yourselves and keep on doing what you're doing.
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| Origins of Pressure to be in Relationships |
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count | percent |
pressure_origin
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| mags |
151 | 13.78 |
| movies |
183 | 16.7 |
| rents |
41 | 3.74 |
| friends |
225 | 20.53 |
| classmates |
229 | 20.89 |
| other_fam |
34 | 3.1 |
| music |
106 | 9.67 |
| myself |
14 | 1.28 |
| work |
1 | 0.09 |
| seeing other couples |
4 | 0.36 |
| no pressure |
4 | 0.36 |
| boy(s) |
4 | 0.36 |
| all of theabove |
1 | 0.09 |
| no answer |
91 | 8.3 |
| other |
8 | 0.73 |
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"You don't have to be worried about pleasing him all the time; you can have more fun. You can also look at cute guys more!"
"Think of all the famous people- inventors, scientists, artists- who are single. They are fine!"
"Now you have time for yourself, to be selfish, to get to know yourself better. You need time as an individual, and soon enough another relationship will come around."
"You are young, enjoy your childhood! You have plenty of time to get in a relationship when you are older!"
"You can hang out with your friends more often and have a girls' days out and stuff like that!"
"Keep your head up, girl!!"
"Being single takes a big load off your shoulders! You can now flirt with people you thought were cute! You don't have to worry about wondering if your boyfriend is going to call you today or if he will get mad if you do a project with one of your friends who is a boy!! You just feel so free!!!!!!!"
"I would tell her that she doesn't NEED a man to support her or hang over her. She's her own person."
"Well, in reality, I do have a friend who is single, who hasn't had a boyfriend for at least a couple of years. She feels like she needs to be in a relationship to be complete herself. This is untrue. I normally tell her this: 'You don't need any man to complete yourself, you are capable of doing things yourself, and you are strong. You don't need anyone; you CAN stand on your own two feet.'"
"Well, I would tell her that having a boyfriend is ok and all, but completely overrated. You don't need a boy to be happy or to fell complete. In my opinion, if you think you need a boyfriend to be happy or to feel complete then you?re not ready to have one. A boyfriend is not about having one to make you feel better about yourself. My mom told me that. I feel that girls my age don't have to be worried about boyfriends. We have our whole lives ahead of us to deal with boys."
"It's truly his loss that he broke up with her. She's an amazing girl and she doesn?t need anyone but her friends and family to make her happy. She has her friends and me; we can go out now without worrying about if her boyfriend will be okay with it, and she'll just be having a lot more fun."
"I would say, 'Buddy, it's alright to be single. Just because everyone else has a partner and all of that stuff, doesn't mean you won't get one eventually. Live your single life while you can. Enjoy the freedom. Hell, being single is more fun than being in a relationship; too much drama. You have more time for friends and family, and catching up on any work you have. You don't have to worry about anything more than you need to.'"
"Being single means you can have fun however and whenever you want to. It means almost unlimited independence. What could be better than that?"
"Hey, I've been single my whole life, and I've been happy about it my whole life! It's not so bad. Boys are dorks anyway and chances are that if he was stupid enough to let you go, he doesn't even deserve you."
"Being in a romantic relationship is just one relationship in a person?s life among many other important relationships. The romantic relationships tend to be shaky, while friends can always be counted on. Think of all the things you can do or do better because of not being in a time-consuming romance."
"'Stay single for only one year' I would tell them. They need time to find out who they are, and that they can't rely on the fickleness of relationships for their life?s happiness. That makes them into needy individuals and that's not what men are looking for. They're looking for girls and women who have strength and can stand on their own two feet. I believe women need to get a life and learn how to take care of themselves - because we can, we are strong. We just need to learn how to discover the potential inside of us and live fun, happy, successful, fulfilled lives."
"I would tell her this: Stop whining already, girl! Some time to yourself won't kill you, you know... In fact, it will make you stronger, give you focus, allow you to indulge in the simple pleasures of life that you would otherwise forget about when engaged in a steady relationship. So, chin up, back straight, eyes ahead and let's see you walk with pride, not shame!"
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Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts
with us!
Please remember that all web-based polls
are not scientific because the pollsters cannot randomly select the
respondents to participate in the surveys.
All our surveys are anonymous; check out our privacy
policy. All data copyright 1996-2000.
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