Latest Survey Results: Are You Miss Independent? Summary

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Report on Are You Miss Independent?

Smart girls decide for themselves™.

So what's this survey all about?

The older you get, the more the word "independent" works its way into your life. It's coming from your parents, your teachers, your friends, and even the radio. It gets tougher and tougher to figure out what it means to who and when! So we wanted to figure out what independence means to you right now. Read on and find out what your fellow SmartGirls think about independence.

Who are we talking about here?

A total of 656 people took this survey. 635 of them were girls, 8 were boys, and 13 didn't say what gender they were. Oldest children were most likely to take this survey, as 263 filled it out. The youngest in the family were the next most likely, and 180 of them participated.

The ages of survey takers ranged from 6 to 22 or older, and 84 percent were between 10 and 16 years old. The two ages most represented were 12, with 112 participants, and 13, with 138 participants.

Most people who filled out the survey were from the United States of America, but England, Canada, Ireland, South Africa and Australia were also well represented. Of the 656 people who took the survey, 136 lived in a big city, 178 lived in a suburb, and 199 lived in a town.

What is independence?

Currently, it seems that you guys define independence in many different ways. 204 people said that independence meant not being influenced by what others think, do, or say. 102 thought independence was having the freedom to do what they wanted, when they wanted, and another 74 believed independence was defined by not having to depend on parents for things. However, the most popular opinion was that independence depended on all these things.

How independent are you?

Most of you say you are around a 7 on the independence scale, with quite a few 6's and 8's as well. However, 11 of you said you were only at 1, and 33 said they were independent enough to be at 10!

Your Independence

We asked you to rate your independence on a scale from 1 to 10; 10 being the most independent and 1 the least.

How independent would you like to be?

The most common response was that 10 would be the ideal independence level. 82 percent of you chose between 8 and 10. However, there were 5 that answered 1.

Ideal Independence

After we figured out how independent you thought you were, we asked you to rate on the same scale how independent you would like to be.

How about two years ago?

Next, we wanted to know how independent you were two years ago, and how that compared to your independence now. 443 of you said you are more independent now, while 113 were actually more independent when you were younger. 100 reported they were about the same.

What makes you feel independent?

The most popular answer was that standing up for yourselves and what you believed in would make you feel most independent. However, 350 of you said that having a car and a driver's license would make you feel independent, and 358 thought that being able to go out with friends and stay out as late as they wanted would make them feel independent.

	count	percent
ex_indep	count	percent
car	350	14.43
clothes	287	11.84
piercing	101	4.16
tattoo	77	3.18
belief	455	18.76
curfew	358	14.76
homework	233	9.61
sig_other	211	8.7
errand	267	11.01
none	9	0.37
no answer	4	0.16
making decisions	32	1.32
home and income	22	0.91
traveling	2	0.08
riding bike	2	0.08
other	15	0.62

We know now how independent you feel. So what makes you feel that way? We asked you guys to give us some examples.

What makes you feel less independent?

The common response was that you felt less independent when you were told you couldn't do something your friends could. Being told when to go to bed, having parental controls on the computer and TV, and getting grounded were the other most popular reasons people felt less independent.

	count	percent
ex_less	count	percent
grounded	302	13.42
friends can	373	16.58
transport	277	12.31
date	294	13.07
comp/tv	311	13.82
under17	248	11.02
bed	353	15.69
none	37	1.64
no answer	11	0.49
being told what to do	24	1.07
having a babysitter	4	0.18
all of the above	3	0.13
homework	1	0.04
no money	2	0.09
other	10	0.44

Ok, now that we know what makes you feel independent, we want to know the opposite. We want to know what types of things make you feel less independent?

How dependent are you on your parents?

Parents can be easy to depend on for a lot of things--rides, clothes, money, and advice for example. Most girls who filled out the survey, 334 to be exact, said they were somewhat dependent on their parents. The rest were split; 143 said they were very dependent, and 134 said only a bit.

For how long?

We asked those of you who said you were still dependent on your parents how long it would be until you no longer were, for anything. The most common reponse, with 239, was that you'd be completely independent from your parents following high school graduation. However, the next most popular response, chosen by 169 people, was that you would never be completely independent of your parents.

When will you no longer be dependent on your parents?

How dependent are you on your friends?

Most of you said you were still pretty dependent on your parents, so we wanted to ask about the other influential people in your life--your friends. You could be dependent on them for their opinions, your social life, or a bunch of other things. This was a close race, but more of you said that you were somewhat dependent on your friends (226), and a bit dependent (224) came in second. 88 of you believe you are very dependent on your friends, and 92 say that you are not at all!

What's holding you back?

There were a lot of different answers for this question! The most common answer by far was parents, with 400 of the 656 survey participants choosing it. Self was another popular answer, with 192 of you selecting it. Teachers and other family members also seem to keep many of you from being as independent as you could be.

	count	percent
hold_back	count	percent
parents	400	40.82
fam	107	10.92
friends	60	6.12
teachers	105	10.71
self	192	19.59
no answer	61	6.22
peers besides friends	10	1.02
society	14	1.43
nobody	8	0.82
religion	1	0.1
boyfriend	5	0.51
no job/money	3	0.31
other	14	1.43

We wanted to know what it was that kept you from being as independent as you possibly could.

Who's helping you out?

The majority of you, 330 to be exact, told us your friends were the most helpful in your becoming independent. Next you reported that you helped yourself become more independent. Oddly enough, in third place were parents, even though so many of you said they held you back in the previous question.

	count	percent
helps	count	percent
fam	87	7.97
parents	214	19.62
friends	330	30.25
teachers	91	8.34
self	314	28.78
no answer	34	3.12
boyfriend	8	0.73
other adults	1	0.09
God	3	0.27
other	9	0.82

On the flip side, we wanted to know what is was in your life that helped you become more independent.

How well do you agree with this statement: "Today, kids my age are a lot more independent than previous generations have been."

The most popular opinion was no opinion at all, as 232 said you were neutral about the statement. Of those that had opinions, 186 agreed and 93 disagreed. There weren't many strong opinions, but 1 person strongly disagreed and 5 people strongly agreed.

Why is this generation more independent?

219 of you told us that the reason your generation is more independent is the technology available for you to do things independently. 107 participants thought that parents today cared less about what their kids did, and that caused the difference in independence. 150 of you don't see kids today as more independent anyway.

If you said that your generation was more independent than previous ones, we wanted to know why.

What makes an independent woman?

Over 430 of you chose strong (439) and hard worker (449) as the characteristics you associated with the term "independent woman". Other popular choices were standing up for beliefs, level-headedness, friendliness, being organized, experienced, understanding and honest.

	count	percent
characteristics	count	percent
friendly	249	6.92
beliefs	394	10.96
strong	439	12.21
healthy	195	5.42
quiet	43	1.2
level	346	9.62
hard worker	449	12.49
messy	13	0.36
bossy	50	1.39
honest	329	9.15
understanding	308	8.57
experience	344	9.57
organized	369	10.26
no answer	23	0.64
responsible	3	0.08
self-esteem	8	0.22
outgoing	2	0.06
doesn't follow crowd	5	0.14
educated	2	0.06
smart	4	0.11
single	4	0.11
same as everyone else	1	0.03
faithful	1	0.03
other	15	0.42

When you hear someone call someone else an "independent woman," what characteristics do you associate with her?

How do you know the most independent woman in your life?

Most of you, 366, said the most independent woman you knew was in your family. 186 said that she was a friend, 99 said a celebrity, and 69 said that they didn't know the woman well personally.

We asked you to think about the most independent woman you know. Then we wanted to know how you knew her!

Singing from the heart?

We asked which of four pop songs you had heard, "Miss Independent" by Kelly Clarkson, "Independent Woman" by Destiny's Child, "Independent" by Salt 'n' Pepa, or "Independence Day" by Melanie C. "Miss Independent" was the most widely listened to song. Then we asked how well you could relate to the concept of the song, a girl who wants to remain independent so that she doesn't fall in love and get hurt by a guy. Of those of you who had heard the song, 137 said "I completely know what she means because I do the same thing!", 273 said "I kind of identify with that situation" and 135 said "I don't identify with that situation at all."

Is more independence always better?

The most selected option (257) was that of being were neutral towards this statement. Those who had opinions tended to agree (175) or strongly agree (93).

How well do you agree with this statement: "Getting more independence is always a good thing."

So, if you thought getting more independence was not always a good thing, what's one negative effect that you think more independence can have?

You guys came up with a lot of good ideas! Some of them included:

greed

stress

arrogance

confusion

isolation

pregnancy

rebellion

loneliness

overconfidence

recklessness

Lastly, we asked you to think about a time when you asserted your independence. What did you do? How did it make you feel? And what were the effects (positive or negative)?

~My friend made me tell the teacher something wrong, but I told her "no." Now we are really good friends, but if she wants to say something wrong, I won't be there.

~Okay, well I basically stayed at my house with my brother for a week alone. I took care of all the cooking and cleaning so I felt pretty d*** independent.

~I think I asserted my independence when I decided (on my own) which courses I would take at school. These choices would not only affect my remaining three years at school, but would also affect my entire future! I found this newfound independence a little intimidating and scary, but I loved making my own decisions and accepting the consequences. It made me proud of myself. I am glad to say that I made the correct choice 100% because I am the biggest academic achiever in our grade at school!

~I think that since I am a vegetarian, I am always standing up for my beliefs and myself. This makes me feel very independent and great inside. I think that this is a very positive effect.

~Since I started working, I have been more independent. I am able to afford to run a car and it has given me so much freedom! Whenever I feel down, I can just go jump in my car, go somewhere that I like, and it makes me feel happier. I am also able to pay for things myself and have learned to differentiate between what I want and what I need, which is ace!

~The first time I had a boyfriend was a very independent stage for me. I wasn't with my mum, family, or friends as much as I normally was. I felt special and wanted, and that I was becoming an adult.

~When I finally got a summer job my whole life changed. I'd drive myself there in the morning, and then come home at night. I never really saw my parents, I took care of my own meals, and I pretty much did everything on my own. It was the greatest time of my life. My whole summer was life guarding, partying, and sleeping. I can only look forward to college!

~A time when I asserted my independence was when I went to France twice with the school. Until then, I had never been out of the country without my mom. The first time, we went we went to Paris and visited Disneyland, the second time we went, we visited a place called the Opal coast. I had a great time and it felt good to be away from home. I felt like my mom was giving me a bit of space as before she wouldn't even let me stop away with the school when we were in the same country. Nothing bad happened; I made a lot of new friends, and had a great experience both times.

~I felt happy when I asserted my independence. I had to organize a whole charity event with no help from anyone! I felt that I'd really achieved something special.

~I stood up for someone who was being bullied. I did this on my own and stood up to people who are louder and have bigger personalities than myself. Basically, I stood up for what I believed in on my own!

~I wanted to go to France for a school trip and I didn't let my parents' worries about the long distance across the ocean thing stop me. I wanted it so badly! I felt very proud that I stood up for what I wanted to do and I didn't back down. The effects were great because I got to go on the trip!

~My parents said I could go to go to a school dance as long as I didn't leave the school property. At the dance, some older guys came (they were 14, we were 12). They asked us if we wanted to get a pizza (the dance had an hour left). I stood firm. I wasn't leaving, although all my other friends did. It wasn't very fun staying alone, but I hung out with some other girls from my grade. I'm so glad I did. I found out the next morning one of the guys used my friend for a one night stand! My friend was so upset and hasn't talked to him since the dance. I'm so glad I stayed at the dance.

~I asserted my independence when I took it upon myself to try out for cheerleading. I thought that it would keep me busy and out of trouble-- and it did! I feel good about it because I found something that I really love doing, and I'm never bored!

~I finally asserted my independence when I went and bought my own car without my mother's approval. I would always make sure she liked something or agreed with my decisions, which she never did. It was a great feeling to do something on my own and for myself. My mother was upset and claimed she was hurt that I didn't ask for her help. I felt bad, but she finally realized I was growing up and didn't need her to discourage me from every decision I tried to make.

~When I asserted my independence, the result was negative. I had a very un-deserved detention, and no, that is not said to defend my side of the story. I was a little too "free" with my wording on my detention essay, and had to re-do it thanks to the teachers, who obviously didn't like it.

~One time, my friend's dad came from Texas to visit, and they were staying at a hotel. She asked me to come over and spend the whole day with her. It was really fun! She and I roamed the hotel alone, we called all of our friends on her cell phone, and we went out to eat together! (Her dad and brother were sitting at a different table!) I felt much older, responsible, and positive after that day.

~I made plans for my future. I planned to be in control of my future, without a lot of stuff that I know that I don't need. I made plans to buy a phone, a car, get a job, etc. I wanted to do these things because I didn't want to depend on my parents anymore. I kind of have the mindset of being single. I am devoted to God and it's hard to find someone like that. I would rather be independent and get stuff done that I know needs to be done, than to wait for someone else. I am going to put God in control, and I know that he will steer me in the right direction, but the decisions I make to do right are mine.

~When I was the captain of a team for a science project, I did feel quite independent. The bad side was that I became very bossy. The good side was that we did do great on the project and got an A+ with extra credit.

~I flew on an air-plane by myself when I was 15 years old. It had a positive effect because it made me a stronger person and more assertive towards other people.

~I was in band class and one of the teachers from my future high school (I'm in 8th now) was trying to force us to join band. He went around the circle and he asked each of us if we were going to join band. He, a grown adult man, tried to change my mind. I don't want to be in band, period. Don't tell me I should be in band. It's not your choice. He sat there and argued with me for 5 minutes, while I was simply saying, over and over, I did not want to be in band. At one point I said, "I'm sorry, but band is not something I want to do, and I would appreciate if you would not talk to me about it anymore." Of course, he backed off. The sense of independence was good, but also bad. I'm glad I stood up for myself, but I wasn't happy that I had to say something like that to a teacher.

~People wanted me to go to a party and drink. I said it wasn't my thing and that I can have fun without alcohol. I was proud because I stood up for what I believed.

~Well, I thought that my parents wouldn't care that I stayed out about an hour and a half more with my boyfriend. I stayed with him and that got me grounded.

~I decided to wear something totally funky and rad to school one day. It was very out there, but actually looked really good. I came out into the hall and my brother screamed at me and ran into his room. That made me a little dubious, but I brushed it off because I was independent, original, and being myself. I got a lot of stares that day, but that was just because I was being independent, daring, and fresh. This was an outfit my mum did not pick out!

~I felt great when I was able to go out and buy clothes and other stuff with my own money! The effects were positive; everyone was surprised when I bought a stunning dress with money out of my own pocket.

~Even small acts such as babysitting made me feel independent. It was positive just because I helped a little boy stop crying because his parents weren't there.

~I started my own business. My dad helped me out at first, but I've paid him back. I feel like my life is going somewhere now.

~I'm much more independent generally now. I'm at University and so I'm living independently, albeit with my boyfriend to share the duties. I shop, clean, cook and run errands by myself and if I get into a mess I have to face the consequences. That, to me, is independence. When I don't have to rely on money from my parents to support me any more, I will be truly independent.

~I was practicing in my workbook for homework, and we all had to solve the problem the same way or we would get a not so good grade. I wanted to solve it my way, so I did. This makes me feel more creative. Guess what! The teacher even liked my idea! I do not like to be controlled like a robot.

~Some guy I was thinking about dating wanted me to try drugs and do "stuff" with him. Just because he was a senior and I was a sophomore, he thought I'd do it with no problem. But I didn't. I told him No and asked him if he thought I was stupid or something.

~I asserted my independence when this girl at school was saying horrible things about me. I chose not to stoop down to her level; instead I kept my head high and ignored her. In the end, people realized she was being awful and no one believed anything she said about me. I guess I had the last laugh!

~My grandfather wanted to say his prayers with me, but I said them by myself. It made me feel independent. The effects were positive.

~I was trusted to pick up my younger siblings; this made me feel needed and appreciated.

~During Health class my first year of high school, I saw a peer cheating on a test. I was furious (partially because I didn't study and partially because I knew it was wrong),
so I did what I have never heard anyone else ever do. I got up, took her test, and ripped it up to shreds. It made me feel on top of the world. Sure, I could have gotten in trouble if she denied that she cheated, but since the whole class saw her she could do nothing but accept the consequences and get a zero on it.

~I wanted to pick out what clothes I wanted to wear, and when I came downstairs, my parents said, "You're going to be freezing!" I didn't listen to them and said, "I am old enough to make my own decisions." I was fine during the day, but when I walked through the field to the library, snow went down my shoes! I think the situation had positive and negative points, but now I think I'll take more of parents' advice and comments into consideration. After all, they only want to protect me!

~Sometimes my parents go to bed early and I have to make sure my brother goes to bed, all the doors are locked, and the lights are out. It made me feel like a responsible adult and I was proud of myself for taking care of everything by myself for once.

~A teacher at college put me down and made it sound as if she didn't think I'd get very far in life, or that I wouldn't try. I told her that I would make something of myself, and that I can make it, just as much as anybody else in the college. It made me feel proud of myself and happy, but I also felt a little worried about how my teacher might react. My worry was for nothing though, as she just nodded and said, "Ok."

~My mom let me shop for clothes alone. I got to pick out things that let me express myself better. I felt happy and confident.

~I asserted my independence when I paid my own rent for the first time. Afterward, it felt good but bad at the same time because I didn't like the fact that I had to work hard for someone else (the landlord!).

~Starting school, my mum and dad weren't there anymore for 6 hours. Then starting new things, making new friend, even though I am very shy and get upset very easily, it was a big milestone for me, and I am very proud!

~I stood up for what I thought at school one time. All of the girls follow one specific person but I finally said that person is not my mom or God so I don't have to follow her. I stood up for what I believed in and I told her what I really thought. When I did that, it really made me feel good, independent, and myself. After I did that, many girls started to follow me and look up to me for advice and answers. I helped them for a while, but then I had to tell them to be themselves. Now I still give advice at school and help girls with problems, but I just wanted every girl to be independent and believe in herself.

~My first time babysitting I felt pretty independent actually. It made me feel responsible and trustworthy that somebody else trusted me with their kid's lives while they were away. I thought it had a really positive effect because it made me feel good about myself and live up to their expectations.

~At my friend's party, all the girls were looking down on me because of my outfit. They were all in the traditional cami top and jeans, but I was in my denim dungaskirt dress and white vest with one of the dress fastenings undone. They were asking me why I always look so weird and doesn't it upset me when people criticize me. I just said that I'd feel upset if I looked like everyone else. I dress how I want to because that reflects me and my personality, not some stupid trend following sheep.

~It was the first day of school, and I had no idea we were coming out early. My friend was going walking, so I just went with her without telling my parents or anything. I got yelled at, but it came in handy when I was trying to prove that I could walk alone now. So there was a negative and positive side of it.

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with us!

Please remember that all web-based polls are not scientific because the pollsters cannot randomly select the respondents to participate in the surveys.