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Report on Online Friends & Virtual Relationships
Smart girls decide for themselves™.
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As this website shows, girls and boys are actively using the Internet all over the world. Not only are they using it for finding information, taking surveys, and/or playing games, they are also using the Internet as a way to meet new people and to make new friends. The Internet allows people from all over the world to talk about their lives and to form new relationships with each other. This survey takes a look at how SmartGirls feel about this new opportunity and how they feel about meeting people on the Internet: how many friends they have, what kinds of people they like to meet, and perhaps most important of all, what information is safe to share with people they don't know anywhere other than the Internet.
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A total of 362 people responded to this survey--339 girls, 7 boys and 6 who preferred not to specify. Participants ranged in age from 8 to 22 years. Most of you were oldest children, but there were lots of middle, youngest and only children as well. While most of you live in the United States, people responded from places as far away from one another as American Samoa and Ireland! Everyone had something interesting to say about online relationships.
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| How do you communicate with online friends? |
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| Who do you communicate with most online? |
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As you can see, most of you prefer to communicate with online friends by IM and email, but a lot of you use chat rooms and message boards as well. Also, most of you talked to friends most often, and a lot of you also communicated with virtual friends.
Overall, different people spend very different amounts of time communicating online with people you have never met face to face. 119 of you said that you never talk online to people you have never met in person, 102 of you communicate with them once or twice a week, 44 of you communicate with virtual friends 3-4 times a week, 26 of you do 5-6 times a week, and 71 respondents communicate online in virtual relationships 7 or more times a week.
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How many virtual friends have you had?
145 of you have never had a virtual friend.
33 of you have had 1 virtual friend.
31 of you have had 2 virtual friends.
43 of you have had 3-4 virtual friends.
110 of you have had 5 or more virtual friends.
How many virtual boyfriends or girlfriends have you had?
271 of you have never been in a virtual romantic relationship.
32 of you have had 1 online boyfriend or girlfriend.
22 of you have been in 2 online romantic relationships.
15 of you have had 3-4 boyfriends or girlfriends online.
22 of you have been in 5 or more virtual relationships.
How old were you when you had your first virtual relationship?
10 of you were 8 years old or younger.
15 of you were 8 years old.
9 of you were age 9 at your first virtual relationship.
27 of you were 10 years old.
44 of you were 11 when you had your first virtual relationship.
55 of you were 12.
42 of you were 13 years old.
21 of you were 14 years of age.
11 of you were 15 when you had your first virtual relationship.
6 of you were 16.
12 of you were 17 or older when you had your first online relationship.
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| How did you meet your virtual friend? |
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| How old is your virtual friend? |
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Virtual friends can serve many different purposes in your life. 210 of you said that you view your virtual friend as merely a friend, while 27 of you see them as a love interest and 46 of you have boyfriends or girlfriends online. 16 of you view your virtual friend as a mentor, 12 of you see them as acquaintances, and 83 of you said that you do not have virtual relationships.
Many different topics can be discussed with virtual friends as well. 175 people talk about school, 155 discuss friends, 85 talk about family issues and 151 discuss their relationships. Many of you discuss different hobbies or interests, such as the 104 who talk about sports, the 193 who chat about music, the 86 who discuss books, the 167 who talk about movies, and the 10 people who talk about other hobbies such as animals and pets or specific games like the Nancy Drew games. Other important issues that people discuss are current events that 111 people discuss, religion which 49 of you talk about, and general life issues that 20 people discuss. 79 of you said that you do not discuss topics like these with virtual friends.
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241 of you have never had a romantic relationship with an online friend you haven't met face to face, but 89 of you have.
Also, 69 of you do not know anyone who has had an online relationship, while 69 of you know one person who has, 80 of you know 2-5 people who have been in online dating situations, 20 of you know 6-10 people who have dated people online and 21 of you know more than 10 people who have been in online relationships.
How do you feel about these issues relating to cheating?
"I believe it would be cheating to have an online boyfriend or girlfriend and an offline boyfriend or girlfriend."
strongly agree: 138
agree: 89
neutral: 69
disagree: 31
strongly disagree: 21
"I believe it would be considered cheating to have two online boyfriends or two online girlfriends, or both an online girlfriend and an online boyfriend."
strongly agree: 135
agree: 86
neutral: 69
disagree: 27
strongly disagree: 26
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What do you like most about online dating?
While most of you (229) have never been in an online relationships, for those of you that have, 85 of you like that you get to meet people outside of your school, 25 of you are less intimidated by dating someone you see less often, and 23 of you like that there is less commitment when dating someone you see less often.
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How well do you agree with this statement?
"I like virtual relationships because I can pretend to be someone I'm not."
strongly agree: 31
agree: 41
neutral: 75
disagree: 65
strongly disagree: 136
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| Things you lie about to people you don't know |
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| What do you think others lie about online? |
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How much do you trust what people tell you online?
always: 17
usually: 46
sometimes: 169
usually not: 47
never: 56
How comfortable do you feel talking online with people you've never met face to face?
very: 69
somewhat: 113
slightly uncomfortable: 77
very uncomfortable: 17
I don't talk to people I don't know online: 68
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Safety can be a big issue when communicating online with people you don't know.
When asked how safe you thought it is to communicate online with people you have never met face to face, 17 of you thought it was very safe. 53 of you feel pretty safe while 153 feel somewhat safe. Of the more skeptical respondents, 70 said that they felt pretty unsafe and 70 felt very unsafe.
In terms of people virtual friends in person, 47 felt that it was very safe, 14 felt pretty safe and 57 would feel somewhat safe. 80 people said they thought it was pretty unsafe, and a majority of you- 169 think that meeting virtual friends is very unsafe.
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| Where have you received information about how to be safe online? |
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Of all the people you talk to online, how many have you never met before?
none: 103
a few: 111
most: 35
half: 37
all: 42
If you've had a virtual relationship have you ever...
talked on the phone: 69
met in public: 30
met in private: 13
used a webcam: 43
written letters in the mail: 35
exchanged pictures: 66
communicated online: 110
I don't have a virtual friend: 121
What info do you tell your virtual friend?
hobbies: 225
birthday: 173
last name: 69
first name: 207
phone number: 51
email address: 144
favorite book: 186
favorite movie: 224
parent's names: 21
street address: 21
city: 121
state: 152
country: 204
favorite color: 216
what you look like: 147
name of school: 79
credit card info: 4
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| I am closer to my virtual friends than I am to friends I see face-to-face |
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| It is easier to be honest in a virtual relationship than in in-person relationships |
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"I would create a game during which a virtual stranger called "Creepy Chris" sits around a virtual table with the player. Each player has a glass in front of them. Creepy Chris' is empty; the player's is full of "safe juice." Creepy Chris begins asking questions of the player. Every time the player gives out ultra-personal information such as her address, phone number or full name, she loses a sip of her drink. If her glass becomes less then half full, she loses the game."
"I would make a game where you play as a young girl who likes chatting to people online. You would make all the decisions about who you talk to, what you tell them, and things like that. If you decide to meet your online buddy, you suggest where and when, and choose certain conditions (bringing adults, being allowed to run away if we think it's dodgy, etc.). At the end you get a score for how safe you were."
"There would be a lie detector where girls have to guess whether a person is lying or not. more then half would be lying so then girls would know you can't really trust strangers."
"Different games where, if you give out information that is unsafe to give, you lose."
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"It would be a chat room, and the girl playing would be another 'chatter'. She would step in when things get dodgy, and sometimes the game would give her things to say, like...
a. My phone number is....
b. My address Is....
c. My favourite movie is.....
and she would have to decide which is the safest thing to say.
Also people would ask you questions like, "What is your phone number?" and the answers would be...
a. My phone number is....
b. I am sorry; I don't feel comfortable giving that information away
c. No response.
And so on. There would be 3 levels, and at the end of those 3 levels you become a chat moderator, which would be the goal."
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Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts
with us!
Please remember that all web-based polls
are not scientific because the pollsters cannot randomly select the
respondents to participate in the surveys.
All our surveys are anonymous; check out our privacy
policy. All data copyright 1996-2000.
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