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Report on The Truth about Teasing
Smart girls decide for themselves™.
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A few months ago, we asked you to tell us about bullying, and after reading the results of that survey, we decided that it was time to talk about teasing. What's the difference between bullying and teasing? When you took this survey, we asked you to consider bullying to be threats, verbal or physical attacks, and damage to property and defined teasing as mainly name-calling or otherwise making fun of someone. With that definition in mind, 608 people responded to this survey in order to give us a little insight into the truth about teasing.
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Of the 608 of you who responded, 576 were girls, 14 were boys and 18 did not indicate a specific gender. Ages ranged from 7 years old to 22 years old. You all brought your own unique ideas and opinions to this survey because you all come from such different backgrounds.
Check out these quick stats:
More oldest children responded to this survey than any other group, making up 40% of our responses! Next up came the youngest kids who ranked in at 29%, with the middle children close behind at 21%. Only 10% of you said you are an only child.
You all come from a variety of ethnic/racial backgrounds as well. 7% of you are of African descent, 8% of Asian descent, 42% of European descent, 7% of Latin American descent, 2% of Middle Eastern descent, 4% of Native American descent, 3% of Oceania/Pacific Islander descent and 16% of multiracial descent.
The majority of you said that you live in either a big city, suburb or a town, with fewer of you saying that you live in a village or rural area.
You logged in from all over the world! Some of these places include Brazil, Argentina, Taiwan, Romania and Malta.
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If we're going to uncover the truth about teasing, we have to figure out a few basic facts - such as where most teasing happens. If you check out the table below, you'll see what you had to say about where most teasing is going on.
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| We asked, "Where does most of the teasing you see or experience take place?" You told us... |
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count | percent |
occurs
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| In the classroom |
382 | 15.47 |
| In gym class |
186 | 7.53 |
| In the hallways at school |
357 | 14.46 |
| In the cafeteria at lunch |
288 | 11.66 |
| In the school's bathroom |
171 | 6.93 |
| On the school playground |
267 | 10.81 |
| On the sports field |
2 | 0.08 |
| On the school bus |
241 | 9.76 |
| On the way to or from school |
155 | 6.28 |
| Around the neighborhood |
127 | 5.14 |
| At home |
4 | 0.16 |
| In other public places |
2 | 0.08 |
| Over the telephone |
92 | 3.73 |
| Via the Internet or txt messages |
143 | 5.79 |
| Everywhere |
13 | 0.53 |
| I don't see teasing occur |
31 | 1.26 |
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| Your answers indicate that the most teasing goes on in the classroom. |
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Wow! Your responses show a pretty clear consensus - that most teasing happens at, in or around school. In fact, 83% of you told us that most teasing occurs in a school-related setting. It looks like school is our teasing hot spot.
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Now that we've pinpointed where the majority of teasing happens, we want to know how often teasing is going on. So we asked you to think long and hard about your typical school day and to let us know how many times you think you witness someone being teased. Your answers weren't too surprising, with the majority of you saying that you see teasing occur between 1 to 3 times a day. But others of you weren't so optimistic, saying that you see teasing happen at school at least 20 times a day. Take a look at the following graph for more details.
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| We asked: "On average, how many times do you see teasing in a school day?" You said: |
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| Less than 8% of you said that you don't usually see teasing at school. That's a pretty small number. |
Let's look at the facts we've established so far. We know that most teasing happens at school and that 92% of you see some sort of teasing while you're at school everyday. That seems like a lot of teasing! What do you think? We asked you to consider how big of a problem teasing is at your school. Here's what you told us:
82 of you don't think that teasing is a problem at your school.
296 of you think that teasing is a bit of a problem at your school.
165 of you call teasing a fairly big problem at your school.
65 of you consider teasing a huge problem at your school.
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Look at those numbers! It's safe to say that the majority of you think teasing is some sort of a problem at your school. We want to know if you think your school is doing enough to prevent teasing from happening. The pie graph below shows what you think. It looks like most of you are pretty unsatisfied with your schools' efforts.
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| We asked, "Does your school do enough to discourage teasing?" You think... |
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| The majority of you think your school doesn't do enough to discourage teasing. |
Your answers indicate that there is a ton of teasing going on around you every day, but why? We want to know what kids are being teased about. You helped us to narrow down the list. Here's what you had to say:
How often are kids in your school/neighborhood teased because of their disabilities?
Luckily, 117 of you said never. But unfortunately, 285 of you said sometimes, 134 of you said often and 65 of you said always.
How often are kids in your school/neighborhood teased because of their weight?
It's really sad that only 44 of you were able to say that your peers are never teased because of their weight. 200 of you said that this happens sometimes, 240 said that this happens often and 112 of you said that this always happens.
How often are kids in your school/neighborhood teased because of how they dress?
Only 83 of you were able to say that kids in your school/neighborhood are never teased about how they dress. 208 of you see this happen sometimes, 191 see it happen often and 115 see it happen all the time.
How often are kids in your school teased because of good grades or for showing a lot of interest in schoolwork?
156 of you said this never happens, 199 of you said this happens sometimes, 145 of you said this happens often and 99 of you said this always happens.
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| We asked, "How often are kids in your school/neighborhood teased because of their racial/ethnic background?" Here's what you had to say: |
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| 35% said never, 45% said sometimes, 13% said often and 7% said always. |
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| We asked, "How often are kids in your school/neighborhood teased because of their sexual orientation?" You responded: |
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| 37% never see kids teased about their sexual orientation, 31% sometimes do, 16% often do and 16% always do. |
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You've told us that kids get teased for a variety of different reasons, from their weight to their ethnicity. But what makes someone decide to pick on another person? You gave us a variety of explanations.
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| We asked, "What's the main reason behind kids teasing one another?" You responded... |
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count | percent |
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whytease2
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| There's nothing better to do |
46 | 7.74 |
| To make themselves feel better |
176 | 29.63 |
| They face no consequences |
13 | 2.19 |
| They learn it from their parents |
10 | 1.68 |
| They think it's fun |
143 | 24.07 |
| They are just mean-spirited |
25 | 4.21 |
| They're angry |
20 | 3.37 |
| I don't know |
66 | 11.11 |
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| The majority of you think that kids tease one another to either make themselves feel better or to have some fun. |
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Teasing can range from jokes that get taken a bit too far to comments that are just downright mean, so it seems logical to think that witnessing all this teasing might start to take its toll after awhile. We asked how it makes you feel.
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| We asked, "How much does school teasing upset you?" Your answers: |
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| The majority of you get either a little bit upset or get very upset by teasing at school. |
It also seems very possible that school teasing might start to have a negative effect on your grades if you witness it or deal with it enough. We asked, "How much does school teasing harm your grades?" and some of your responses indicate that our hunch was right. For some of you, teasing at school can start to make your grades slip. Here's what you told us:
41 of you feel like school teasing harms your grades a lot.
161 of you feel like school teasing harms your grades a little.
398 of you feel like school teasing doesn't really harm your grades at all.
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So far, we've talked about the teasing going on around you. But what about when you're the one being teased? Most of us have been in a situation where someone chooses us as their teasing target. And at times like those, it can feel like we're the only ones who get teased. But that's far from the truth. If you're feeling low about teasing, check out the high number of other SmartGirls who get teased too.
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| We asked, "How often are you teased?" You answered... |
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| Only about 26% of you have never been teased. |
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Above, we pinpointed some of the things other kids get teased about. But what about you?
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| We asked, "What have you been teased about?" Here's what you had to say... |
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count | percent |
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teasdabout2
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| My family |
97 | 7.09 |
| My friends |
184 | 13.45 |
| My weight |
159 | 11.62 |
| My health |
40 | 2.92 |
| My appearance |
308 | 22.51 |
| My religion |
65 | 4.75 |
| My gender |
50 | 3.65 |
| My grades |
171 | 12.5 |
| My race/ethnicity |
67 | 4.9 |
| The way I act |
48 | 3.51 |
| My crush/significant other |
15 | 1.1 |
| My sexuality |
5 | 0.37 |
| My interests/hobbies |
8 | 0.58 |
| My opinions/beliefs |
5 | 0.37 |
| My social class |
1 | 0.07 |
| Lots of things |
2 | 0.15 |
| I'm never teased |
113 | 8.26 |
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| More of you said that you've been teased about your appearance than anything else. |
It's never fun to be the one someone else is poking fun at, but how exactly does being teased, put down or insulted make you feel?
328 feel angry, 284 feel hurt, 280 feel sad, 258 feel embarrassed, 239 feel frustrated, 198 feel depressed, 195 feel stressed, 179 feel excluded, 174 feel worthless, 154 feel helpless, 83 feel scared and 46 feel guilty. 103 don't feel any of the above feelings - they just try to ignore the teasing. 59 say they've never been teased.
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Besides hurt feelings, teasing can have other effects - such as making you want to avoid your teaser at all costs. Does that mean avoiding school, too? Above, we learned that in some cases school teasing can make your grades slip. Does it have the same effect on your attendance record? We asked you how often you have missed school because of teasing. Here are the numbers:
479 have never missed school because of teasing.
55 have missed school due to teasing once.
50 have missed school because of teasing a few times.
7 have been absent because of teasing once a month.
4 have missed school due to teasing once a week.
5 have been absent from school multiple times a week because of teasing.
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For some of you, avoiding your teaser is the best way to avoid teasing. But what else can you do when a teaser attacks? We asked, "What's the best thing to do when you're being teased?"
58 of you think the best thing to do is tease the teaser back, 176 of you would rather ignore the teasing, 124 of you think it's a good idea to tell an adult (teacher, parent, etc.), 43 of you like to confront the teaser rationally, 19 of you prefer to start a fight and 128 of you like to make a joke of it. 45 of you don't know the best way to handle a teaser and 4 of you think the best method depends on the situation.
A few SmartGirls told us their own personal methods of dealing with a teaser. Check out this advice:
~ "Don't give them the reaction they are looking for."
~ "Make a comeback that will not offend them too much - so you don't get in trouble but they will not know what to say in reply!"
~ "Just say 'I don't care what you think' and it makes everything they say useless. It makes you feel a lot better."
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In your minds, who fits the picture of a teaser? Are they younger or older? Boy or girl? You or someone else? We asked the questions, and here's what you had to say:
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| We asked, "How often have you teased others?" You told us... |
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| 203 of you have never teased anyone else...that's awesome! |
According to the graph above, while 203 of you do not fall into the teaser category, a large number of you do, in fact, consider yourselves to be teasers. It looks like some of you tease and get teased!
60% of you think that teasers are usually the same age as the person being teased. Only 20% of you think teasers tend to be older, and a mere 3% think teasers are usually younger. 17% of you weren't sure if there is an age pattern when it comes to teasers.
What about a gender pattern? Is one sex more likely to tease than the other? Check out the graph below to see your opinions.
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| We asked, "Who teases more?" You told us... |
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| Lots of you think that boys and girls tease equally. |
Finally, we asked you to imagine that you see a good friend of yours being teased by an older student. We asked you to describe what you would do and explain why you would do that. Then we asked, if you could give suggestions to a teacher to help stop teasing, what would you suggest? You all came up with fantastic answers. Here are some of them:
"I would tell the person off even though it's not the right thing to do. I'm just trying to be honest. I would do it so I could fend the teaser off and make him leave my friend alone for the time being until greater action could be taken. I would suggest tighter teasing control methods and more talks against teasing, bullying, etc."
"I would be too scared to tell the older student to go away unless they were only 1 year older but I would try to get my friend's self esteem up afterwards, and I would tell teachers to notice stuff more and talk to us about teasing."
"Speak to a teacher in confidence and also ask them to set up a bully box where my friend could write down how she felt and who it was but not need to give her name so that she doesn't suffer any repercussions."
"I would stick up for her and tell the bully off. I think teachers should say to students who tease to calm down or shut up when they see it happening but not punish them because then the bully/teaser becomes resentful and it changes from lighthearted teasing to bullying with malice."
"My friend has been bullied and I marched up to the teacher and told him what was happening. I am trying to end bullying by getting people to sign a 'beat bullying' petition and wearing the blue 'beat bullying' band."
"If I saw a friend being teased or anyone for that matter I'd say, 'How would you feel if some one did that to you?' Then say, 'Come on so-and-so. Let's go.' If I had to make a suggestion I'd say discuss it, have apologies, hand shakes and conferences with each other on why people might tease."
"If I saw a good friend of mine being teased by someone, I would go straight to the bully and tell them to back off and then grab my friend's hand and leave. Then I would talk to my friend about it. Teachers should get a list of their students' name and give them to the students and then the students would have to write something nice about every person in that class."
"I would tell my friend to try to confront the teaser rationally and if that doesn't work I would tell them to tell a teacher because at our school the teachers take care of all the problems and no one's feelings get hurt after that. If I were to give advice to a teacher, I would tell him/her that some children get teased but don't want to say anything, so he/she should send a note home with every student saying that if they have a problem with teasing, they should come up after school on a certain date (different date per child) and tell her their problem, what they are teased about, and who is teasing them."
"I would suggest that she go to a teacher for help. Or at our school we have a system involving peer listeners. Peer listeners are a group of older students who any students can go to for support when they have problems including being teased."
"Well, if I witnessed a good friend of mine being teased, I would approach the teaser and see what he is teasing her about. If it is about her clothes or something like that, then I would come into her/his defense. If I could give suggestions to a teacher I would tell him/her to start giving out detentions/suspensions more frequently because many students are self-conscious and may not be able to handle it."
"I would stop them from teasing my friend, because i don't want my friend to have the same bad problems of teasers being mean to me. I would tell teachers to suspend the teaser from school for a day, get him/or her into counseling, and for the teacher not to tell who told them about the teasing, because when a teacher tells the teaser what student told them, then the teaser has something more to tease that student about, which doesn't help the student out any better."
"I would get my friend and tell them to come with me and that what I have to tell them is important. This way, they would not be backing down and would not be made fun of for that. I would suggest that teachers should reward students for not teasing others with something the students want."
"I would walk up to them and ask what is going on. If the teaser says something to me or my friend again I will either say something back or tell them to be quiet. I would also suggest that the teachers just watch out for it more than they really do and if they catch someone doing it, find out from the person who is being teased what they are being teased about and if anyone else is doing it. After speaking with them, go and talk to the kids who have been doing the teasing and tell them how it is making the kids they are picking on feel and if needed, give them a harsh punishment."
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Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts
with us!
Please remember that all web-based polls
are not scientific because the pollsters cannot randomly select the
respondents to participate in the surveys.
All our surveys are anonymous; check out our privacy
policy. All data copyright 1996-2000.
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