Every week, SmartGirls vote on an issue and offer their advice. Our issues are sent to us by real SmartGirls. For more poll results, see our advice archives.
Issue:
My Best Friend Is Perfect
Friends
My best friend is perfect. Perfect grades, perfect looks, perfect family. She is even nice.
My parents just got divorced, and my brother and I have never gotten along. I get okay grades, but whenever I get an A- and feel good about myself, it turns out that she has an A+. Then I get upset and hate her for the rest of the day, and she never knows why.
I don't like feeling this way. What should I do?
Lyss, age 12
Advice Poll:
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Tell her how you feel. She might be able to tell you things she always liked about you and your family, or share what isn't perfect about her life. Maybe you'll become closer!
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Be more positive. This is an attitude problem. If you want better grades, study more. Learn to love your family the way they are. Good things take work, so work on it.
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Find a new friend. Friends should make you feel good about yourself or share things in common. Even if she's nice and perfect, that doesn't mean she's the one for you.
Results:
These SmartGirls had more to say:
Discussion:
Why is it so hard and scary to forgive? What do you do when you're mature
enough to move on, but the other person isn't? How can you ignore someone
who keeps on bugging you?
Thanks to all of you who gave your advice! Please give your advice for this week's issue.
We hope that by sharing these issues and SmartGirls' responses to them, we will help you think through your own issues and prepare for the future. In the end, it's your decision, so make the choice that's right for you! Good luck!
The advice represented on this page is the opinion of SmartGirl users who have responded to last week's Issue of the Week. It is not the opinion of SmartGirl.org or the University of Michigan.
Reading the Bar Graph:
To read the bar graph, match the height of each bar with the number on the left (y-axis). That's the number of people who chose that category. You can find the name of the category listed below each bar (x-axis). The title of the bar graph is the same as the title of the issue.
Well, tell your friend that you feel this way so she'll understand better, and for your family, just tell them that you just want some space. But remember not to yell; it will make it worse. To tell you the truth, the same thing has happened to me.
Okay, look. I wanted to say two things, so I'll say them now. First, tell her how you feel. It will more than likely help. Also, BE A POSITIVE PERSON. See if you're not happy about your grades, do something about it, don't just get angry. When she gets good grades, congratulate her.
You sound like you have an amazing friend. I'm really sorry about your parents, but you're sounding a little self-centered to me. It's not fair to treat your friend that way.
I have a friend exactly like this. Sometimes it is really hard to be friends with someone who seems so perfect. I am sure that your friend has problems, too, though, she just hides them really well. I think you should talk to her about it and tell her how you fee; odds are she will tell you that she is not perfect at all and she will be able to show you that she is just a normal girl like you.
Hey, calm yourself. Nobody is perfect. I'm sure your friend has problems of her own that you aren't aware of. If you take gratitude for what you have that others don't, even though it isn't observable, it will make you feel better. An A- is still an A. It makes no difference whether it is an A+ or an A-. Don't put so much pressure on yourself comparing yourself to your friend. Compare to less fortunate others and you will feel better. I'm sorry your family status is rocky, but things will get better. Talk to your friend and she'll understand. After all, she is your friend. She will help you.
I have had the same problem, too! Try and calm down. Write down a list of things that you like about yourself. Whenever you are mad at her, calm down and read the list. Take deep breaths and feel confident. Also, talk to her.
Don't worry what your friend is getting. Just be happy with what you get.
Talk to her. I'm sure she will understand.
Acknowledge yourself for your good grades! A- isn't that bad! That's great! Instead of looking at what is negative in your life, appreciate what is positive and what you have now. Focus your attention on the good that is happening aroudn you and be happy for your friend. You and your friend are perfect and are exactly where you need to be as everything is a learning experience. <3