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Results for 07/16/2007 to 07/31/2007
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Last week, Anonymous said:
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"Do I tell him how I feel?
I've been friends with a boy for almost two years now, and I've always liked him as more than just a friend. He lives quite far away, so I don't get to see him that often, but we're still quite good friends. I think that he might like me, but I'm scared that if I tell him and he doesn't like me, that things will be awkward. I don't know how I'd deal with things being awkward and I don't want to risk ruining or losing our friendship. Any advice?"
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Do you need advice on an issue? Other SmartGirls can
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243 SmartGirls replied:
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Don't say anything to him. If you tell him you are taking the chance that he might not feel the same way. And even if he does, you might not be in the best situation for a relationship. Long distance relationships can be a lot of work and you have to be ready and willing to put in the effort. |
| 30% |
Tell him how you feel. It's always best to be honest in a relationship and you're probably going to keep feeling this way until you say something to him. If he really is a good friend you will be able to work through the situation whether he likes you or not. |
| 5% |
Talk to your friends. They may know more about your relationship with him and could share their advice about what you should do. Also, maybe they have been in a similar situation and can share how they handled it. |
| 14% |
Try talking to some of his friends and see if they know how he feels about you. He may feel the same way that you do and just be scared about ruining your friendship also. Just be prepared in case his friends say he just thinks of you as a friend; anything is possible. |
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49% gave other responses. Some SmartGirls said:
I had the same problem and I lost my good friend that way. But all I can say is try it out or just ask him how he would feel if you went out with another guy. I actually am in the same situation, and I told him how I felt. He did not feel the same way, yet we are still friends. He lives far away, what do you have to lose? And, if you told him and he said he didn't like you back, you could always save it with the old, "Joking!!". The best advice I can probably give you is to kind of flirt with him to see if he notices you and flirts back. If he doesn't seem to notice he might not like you, but if he does than he could feel the same way. But you don't want to make it too obvious because he might get weirded out. I had the same prob. I told my friend and he liked me too! Things turned out great! If you feel you are up for it, tell him. If he doesn't feel the same, then it wasn't meant to be. Then, tell him that you just want to be friends, unawkwardly. He'd probably appreciate it. Of course you should! I liked this guy that I hardly see, and I told him. It was the most embarrassing thing in my life, but I found out he felt the same. Now we email each other and we still care for each other. So go for it...it's worth it! And if he doesn't, he should be a good enough guy to get over it and continue as your friend. I think you should take a risk and tell him because we are girls and we are known for takin risks.If you tell him you are taking the chance that he might not feel the same way. And even if he does, you might not be in the best situation for a relationship. Long distance relationships can be a lot of work and you have to be ready and willing to put in the effort. Olivia,13 (Advice columnist and Therapist)
Thanks to all of you that gave your advice! Please give your
advice for this week's issue.
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The advice represented on this page is the opinion of SmartGirl
users who have responded to last week's Issue of the Week. It is not the
opinion of SmartGirl.org or the University of Michigan.
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