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Results for 05/18/2007 to 05/31/2007
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Last week, Jessica said:
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"Guy Friends to Boyfriends
I have lots of guy friends but I haven't had a boyfriend. I think I know what's wrong. It's because I'm not like all of the other girls in my school. Most of them are skinny and I'm chubbier. How can I get a guy to notice my personality and not my looks?"
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Do you need advice on an issue? Other SmartGirls can
help! Submit your issue to SmartGirl.
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279 SmartGirls replied:
| 27% |
Just be yourself. Being like every other girl in school isn't going to get you a good boyfriend or make you happy. Eventually a boy will recognize you and like you for who you are. |
| 6% |
If you want a guy to be interested in you for your personality, join a club or a sports team that you are interested in. Likely there will be boys participating in that activity. Since you share the same interests, they might just be interested in you for your personality and what you like to do. |
| 2% |
Speak out in class when the class is about something you are interested in. That way the boys in class will get to know your personality by getting to know what you are knowledgable about and interested in. |
| 9% |
If you have a lot of guy friends but not a boyfriend maybe you should try sending some signals to the boys you like. If there is a particular guy that you are interested in, try flirting with him a little more. That way he will know you are interested in him as more than just a friend. |
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56% gave other responses. Some SmartGirls said:
If they don't like you because of your appearance, then they're not boyfriend material. Boyfriends should like you for your personality, and if they don't, then they're jerks for not realizing how great you are. ~ Ren, 11 That's the best way to be is friends with boys. You can have a laugh with them and maybe tell them things you wouldn't tell the girls because they wouldn't understand. I had loads of boy pals! I preferred them to the company of girls! Don't worry about it. You're great as you are. Katie 17. Your problem might be that because you have so many guy friends, they just think that you are "one of them". They don't really think of you as an available young woman. In order to change that, start flirting with them. Start slowly, but then gradually get more and more obvious if they don't get the point. Eventually they will realize it, and start flirting back. No guy can resist a good flirt - it expresses your personality and your brains. (it's harder than it looks to flirt!) There is nothing wrong with you because you do not have a boyfriend! You are a special, precious person, and you have years ahead of you to get a boyfriend. You don't have to have a boyfriend to be someone everyone likes. You should wait until you really fall in love with someone, instead of trying to find a boy for appearances. I think you have a problem, but it's not the lack of a boy - do you think that it will make you appear more popular or beautiful? A boyfriend won't do anything for you that you can't do for yourself.
Thanks to all of you that gave your advice! Please give your
advice for this week's issue.
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The advice represented on this page is the opinion of SmartGirl
users who have responded to last week's Issue of the Week. It is not the
opinion of SmartGirl.org or the University of Michigan.
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