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Results for 01/08/2007 to 01/19/2007
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Last week, bedtimebear said:
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"Friends for Ever or Friends for Never?
I just moved about a year ago and I have three best friends at my new school. Lately it seems like two of them have become best friends and are keeping secrets from me and my other friend. Whenever I ask them what they are talking about, the just say we'll tell you later and never do. I have tried to tell them how I feel, but they just ignore me even more. I can't just not be friends with them because I don't want to hurt them. What do I do?"
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Do you need advice on an issue? Other SmartGirls can
help! Submit your issue to SmartGirl.
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184 SmartGirls replied:
| 7% |
Write a letter to your friends. If you are not comfortable confronting your friends, writing down how you feel may make them understand how upset you are. This might give them a chance to see how much they have hurt you and allow for a more productive conversation when you do finally talk to them. |
| 24% |
Talk to your best friends in a group. It sounds like your friendship means a lot and that you want to work everything out. Approach them in a non-threatening way and tell them that you are feeling left out. Chances are if they are true friends they will care what you say and change their behavior. |
| 9% |
Plan an activity that you would all enjoy. Suggest that you want to be spending more time as a group and try doing something together such as a trip to the mall, a movie, or playing a sport. That way no one will be left out. |
| 4% |
Talk to a trusted adult or older friend. They can help you sort through your own emotions about your friends. You can discuss possible solutions on how to get your friends to stop making you feel left out. |
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56% gave other responses. Some SmartGirls said:
You've told them how you feel! That's good. Try to spend more time with your other friend as she's probably feeling the same as you. Have a sleepover together, you'll delevop a close bond, forgot the so-called friends, and leave them to it! Trust me I know I've been through this. If they are hurting you and are not caring about how you feel or what you have to say, then it is time you find new friends who will not hurt you, and are honest. Friendship is built on trust, care, and concern. Find new friends because these friends do not deserve you. Please don't react to what they do to you. Don't ask anymore about what they say. Be yourself -- always make sure you don?t go behind their back asking people what they said. That?s my piece of advice. I think maybe you two should talk to the other girls alone. If they keep on refusing, resort to a female teacher or a guidance counseler or another adult at school who can talk to all four of you. I suggest a female, because she will understand things like gossiping. This could be a form of bullying, and if it is then you should confront an adult.
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The advice represented on this page is the opinion of SmartGirl
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opinion of SmartGirl.org or the University of Michigan.
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