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Results for 09/15/2006 to 09/25/2006
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Last week, LADY SCRAPPY said:
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"Stop Touching Me!
It has been a while since my friend and I have seen each other, almost four years. Recently, it has been cool and everything, but something is going wrong. She tries to touch my private parts when we are having sleepovers. I am worried about talking to her about this because I think I am going to hurt her feelings. Can you please give me some advice on how to tell her that what she is doing bugs me?"
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268 SmartGirls replied:
| 7% |
Stop the sleepovers! Try not having sleepovers with your friend anymore, or at least sleep in different rooms. You can tell her the reason why, or you can just stop. It might help her realize that you do not like what she is doing to you. Or, the physical distance between both of you might help her stop the hurtful behavior. It is okay for you to say that you would like your own space. |
| 21% |
Speak up! Good friends will listen to what you have to say, and respect your personal space. Tell your friend how you feel - that what she is doing bothers you a lot. Speak to her directly, and be clear when you talk to her. You might try saying to her, "I don't like it when you touch my private parts." Or, you might want to speak up in the moment, "stop doing that." Do whatever it takes to get it out of you - yell, write a letter, talk calmly, etc. You have the right to speak up! |
| 16% |
Tell someone! It is not okay for your friend to be touching your private parts without your permission, especially if it makes you uncomfortable. Tell an older adult that you know and trust about what is going on, and just keep telling until someone believes you and helps make it stop. And remember, it is not your fault. |
| 22% |
Talk to your friend! It is totally normal to worry about hurting your friend's feelings, especially if you have been close friends for so long. But it is important to think about your own feelings too. Talk to your friend about how you enjoy being friends with her, but that you do not want her to touch your private parts because it makes you uncomfortable. You can explain to her that you do not want that to be part of your friendship. She may or may not feel hurt, but you will be much happier! |
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34% gave other responses. Some SmartGirls said:
If she is a lesbian talk to her about, and accept her differences. If she gets mad, then she will think about it and understand hopefully. Confide in her and let her confide in you. I think you should tell her the truth and when you catch her in the act, get up and ask her why she is doing this. Maybe your freind is going through something and she needs to talk about it. You should really tell her how you feel though about her touching you. Sometimes people do stuff to get your attention. But if talking to her about it doesn't work, I know this sounds lame or you may think it's stupid tell an adult (like your mom or her mom). I hope this helps! It's never OK to touch someone else's private parts, but it's still not OK to be hiding it from her. Tell her, you'll feel much better and she'll probably stop. It's not embarrassing at all. My younger cousins do that to me ALL THE TIME and I tell them to stop and they stop. So just tell her because no one should be doing that to you if you're uncomfortable with it.
Thanks to all of you that gave your advice! Please give your
advice for this week's issue.
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The advice represented on this page is the opinion of SmartGirl
users who have responded to last week's Issue of the Week. It is not the
opinion of SmartGirl.org or the University of Michigan.
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