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Results for 04/18/2006 to 05/01/2006
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Last week, -Crying In PA said:
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"Missing Gram
My grandma passed away last June. She was my great grandma, (my mom and dad's moms are both deceased) and she held the family together because everybody lives so far apart. The real problem is, I usually feel fine until I go to bed at night. At night, I pray and talk to her and cry. I usually cry myself to sleep. Nobody knows this. The other night I was reading "Chicken Soup for the Kid's Soul" and I started bawling when it said the last words that this girl ever said to her best friend were "I love you." How can I stop crying at night? I miss her so much, and I feel guilty whenever I feel fine and am not crying."
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320 SmartGirls replied:
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Join a support group so you don't feel so alone. Most communities have support groups for people who have lost family members, and your school might even have one. These groups provide a good place for you to talk about your feelings and your memories, and they may help you to start feeling better. |
| 17% |
It's completely natural to feel sad when someone who is a big part of your life passes away, and grief is just a normal part of the healing process. You don't need to worry about how you feel - only time will help you to feel better when you're going to sleep at night. |
| 12% |
Talk to your parents about how you feel. Maybe your mom or dad can come talk to you about your grandmother before you go to bed. You could share a good memory of her before you go to sleep. That might help you to feel less guilty during the rest of the day too. |
| 12% |
It sounds like you need to find a way to come to terms with your grandmother's death and find a way to keep her alive in your memory. You could try making a scrapbook of her things and photos, or you could write a story or poem about her. Putting your memories of her onto paper might help you to work through your feelings as well as giving you a way to remember the good times you had with her. |
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54% gave other responses. Some SmartGirls said:
You shouldn't feel guilty about not crying and feeling happy. I'm sure your great grandma wouldn't want you to feel bad at all. Also, it's ok to cry yourself to sleep. Grief is probably one of the strongest emotions you can feel in your life, so it's not unusual that you should cry for your Great Gran. Time is a great healer and although you may never fully accept her death, you will sometimes stop feeling as if you need to cry. I think it's really nice you talk to her, but don't feel guilty if you stop. Just remember, you'll never forget her, and that no matter what, she'll still love you. Good luck. It is completely normal to deal with grief in different ways, in your case, somewhat privately. You should not feel guilty for feeling fine sometimes. Your great grandma would most likely want you to be alright. Maybe you should talk to someone, like your friends, family, or someone at school, or write in a diary about your feelings. Hopefully this will help. All of my grandparents and many other relatives of mine are deceased. Like you, I too had a hard time getting over it. What helped me feel better was to think of fun times I had with them and look at old pictures of them happy. It might sound strange, but it really does help! Try it next time you feel sad or lonesome. Helping Hand, 15
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