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Results for 03/06/2006 to 03/14/2006
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Last week, Brittany said:
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"Divorce
My mom and dad are splitting up and I'm upset about it. They tell us that it has nothing to do with my sister or me. I wish they would stay together. What should I do? Help, I need advice."
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Do you need advice on an issue? Other SmartGirls can
help! Submit your issue to SmartGirl.
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311 SmartGirls replied:
| 17% |
Your parents are telling you the truth. Their splitting up is not about you or your sister. You have to trust them. I know it is really hard, but when parents get divorced it doesn't have anything to do with how they feel about their kids. |
| 11% |
If you can't talk to your parents about how you feel, try to find another adult you can talk to. Sometimes talking to a family friend, a teacher, a counselor, or a religious leader can be really helpful. They can give you advice, just listen to you, or help you figure out how you are feeling. Talking can be really therapeutic. It might be worth a shot! |
| 10% |
You can always talk to your friends. Many times, other kids are going through the same thing. You guys can be a support system for each other. Even if your friends are not going through the same thing, they can listen to you, talk to you, or do things with you to take your mind off of it. Sometimes relying on friends is the best thing to do! |
| 8% |
Sometimes the best thing to do is wait. Sometimes time is the best way to heal and not hurt anymore. Your parents have probably thought about this decision for a long time, and they feel it will be best for everyone. Your parents are probably going to be happier people, and eventually, you will be okay, too. It takes time to get used to it, and that is to be expected. Just know that they have everyone's best interest at heart. They do not want to hurt you, but they want everyone to have a chance to be happy. |
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54% gave other responses. Some SmartGirls said:
If your parents say they're splitting up, they're splitting up. If they say it's not your or your sister's fault, believe them. Most of the time when parents are getting a divorce, it's not the child's fault. Talk to your friends - they will help you with your problems. Look on the bright side and don't doubt about it because you're not alone! I know you've probably heard this way too many times, but just because your parents don't get on any more doesn't mean they love you any differently. They love you unconditionally. You're obviously feeling really down now, so talk to your mum and your friends about how you feel. Don't keep things bottled up. Just remember things are better this way, as you don't have to put up with your parents' arguing - they're probably much happier too! I see your problem. Just wait. In time, if they really love each other they will stay together. All you can do is stay away from the problem as much as possible or you will feel guilty. If the problem gets worse, don't lose hope. Face it: they might be meant to be or might not. Talk to a mentor in the SmartCenter! My parents split up a few years ago. They told me the same thing. My mom still tells me that. Now I know it wasn't my fault because my mom tells me that they are better as friends.
Thanks to all of you that gave your advice! Please give your
advice for this week's issue.
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The advice represented on this page is the opinion of SmartGirl
users who have responded to last week's Issue of the Week. It is not the
opinion of SmartGirl.org or the University of Michigan.
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