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Results for 06/21/2006 to 06/27/2006
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Last week, Emily said:
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"My mum isn't normal
My mum sends my brother and I to fee-paying schools. I guess you might think we're lucky. We're not. My brother goes to boarding school so he doesn't see my mum that much. Tonight my mum hit me and yelled at me and my dad, until she finally figured out that she had done some minor thing that she had accused us of doing (when we hadn't). She completely changed the topic talking about stuff that I do that annoys her. My dad went to his 'garage' after shouting at her in my defense. She says what she does is because of her stressful job, but she's making me so unhappy. She's not like any of my friends' mums. Please help!"
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174 SmartGirls replied:
| 14% |
If your mom is having that much trouble managing her stress that she lashes out at you and your dad, she should seek help. You should get your dad or another adult to help you look in to different ways of managing stress to present to your mom. This could range from seeing a therapist to just taking a week off. Having your family present your mom with information will show her that you aren't just concerned with her stress and its effect, but that you also want to help her feel better. |
| 13% |
Talk to an adult outside of your family, like a school counselor or a family friend, about your situation. Your mom needs to learn how to deal with her stress in a way that doesn't harm you and your family. Another adult will be able to help her with that. |
| 18% |
Your mom has to know that her stress is not only affecting her but the rest of the family as well. You should get your brother and dad together and plan a non-threatening way of approaching your mom about her behavior. This intervention should aim at letting your mom know that you are concerned about her and the family and that you want to help her get help. Your family has to let her know that you are unhappy or things will never change. |
| 14% |
Try talking to your dad. Ask him to talk to your mom and find out why she is so harsh and mean to you. Make sure he knows you are worried about the whole family. As the adult in the family, it is his responsible to stand up for you and talk to your mom about her behavior. |
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41% gave other responses. Some SmartGirls said:
Try asking her if any things wrong. Does she always act like this normally? If she hits you for no reason, then you and your dad should leave the house, get your brother, and go somewhere else unless she promises to stop. Every teenagers feels that their mum is different to all other mums. I used too, but as you get older you realise that in many ways your mum is right and that her job can indeed be making her stressed and she'll need to vent that anger somewhere. Talk to your mum calmly and explain how she is making you feel. Tell her that you understand that her job is stressful, but you don't know how to cope with her yelling and taking it out on you all the time. I agree that your mum was out of order for hitting you as violence never solves anything, talk to her about this as well. Talking is the first step to resolving the issue. Good luck hun. Love, Flick. Talk to your friends about it, tell them how you're feeling. Friends can be the best thing to have when you're unhappy. If your mum is acting in such a way, it isn't just her stress problem. You should talk not only to your dad about communicating your message to her, but her friends and a counselor as well. If you get together with them and your dad, you can come up with a solution of keeping her calm.
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opinion of SmartGirl.org or the University of Michigan.
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