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Results for 03/14/2006 to 03/21/2006
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Last week, Fate said:
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"Rivalry and Competition
I used to have a so-called best friend but now all she ever tries to do is make me jealous. There's so much rivalry and competition between us and I'm sick of it. One minute she ignores me and talks about me behind my back, then when I didn't give her a Christmas present, she didn't want to speak to me. She took my boyfriend away from me. I fought and fought to get him back, but in the end I lost. How can I win my friend back?"
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Do you need advice on an issue? Other SmartGirls can
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242 SmartGirls replied:
| 23% |
Sometimes the people we think are our friends really don't have our best interests at heart. If it's getting too stressful or difficult to be her friend anymore, slowly distance yourself from her and her hurtful behavior. Make an effort to get to know your other friends on a deeper level and spend more time with them. Soon you'll be so close with them, you'll forget about your old best friend. |
| 2% |
The obvious thing to do is just give up and switch schools. People are hard to change, so staying at your current school will probably just make you unhappy. You shouldn't even try to resolve the problem, just get outta there! |
| 5% |
Have someone else confront her about what's going on. If you talk to her, she might think you're overreacting, but if another friend or if an adult steps in, she'll be more likely to listen. Even a simple question like "Why are you always trying compete with your best friend?" could really make a difference. |
| 14% |
Communication is key when it comes to problems like this. You obviously have history with your best friend, and you don't want to throw that all away. Sit her down and talk to her about what's going on. Try not to put her on the defensive by accusing her of purposely hurting you. Instead, explain how her actions make you feel. Let her know that you're talking to her about it because you care and want to keep the friendship. |
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56% gave other responses. Some SmartGirls said:
You should try talking to your friend about what is bothering you, and if she still doesn't listen, you should cut her off. You don't have to be mean to her, but just ignore when she is nasty to you. Start spending more time with other friends. ~Kimberly, 15 Your friend seems very immature, and I think you should stop hanging out with her. She doesn't deserve to be your friend if she just tries to make you jealous. ~johnnyiscute101, 14 If you want your best friend back, you should try talking with her and being extra nice to her. She will see that she doesn't have to compete with you, because you are on her side. ~Tessa, 12 She is just jealous of you, that is why she is trying to compete with you and steal your boyfriend. You should stop being her friend if she continues to act this way. ~Perry, 14 The best thing to do is not get other people involved. Just talk to her and see what is bothering her. If that doesn't work, at least you tried, and you'll know she isn't a real friend. ~Kailey, 13
Thanks to all of you that gave your advice! Please give your
advice for this week's issue.
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The advice represented on this page is the opinion of SmartGirl
users who have responded to last week's Issue of the Week. It is not the
opinion of SmartGirl.org or the University of Michigan.
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