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Results for 05/15/2006 to 05/23/2006
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Last week, Lindsay Jane said:
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"Oh brothers!
My brothers are really overprotective about me going to parties. I know they just want me to be ok when I am out and things, but it's really annoying. My best friend is having a birthday party this weekend and they don't want me to go because her parents are out of town and they think I'll be drinking. They just don't trust me. They always get mad every time I talk about wanting to go to parties. I don't know how to tell them I am old enough to make the right choices. Please help."
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Do you need advice on an issue? Other SmartGirls can
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251 SmartGirls replied:
| 3% |
You're just going to have to be sneaky about it. Don't tell them when you're going to a party anymore. Instead, you should tell them that you're just going to a get together with friends. And never mention that boys will be there or if chaperones won't be. |
| 9% |
Talk to your parents about the situation. After all, if they're not worried about you going out to parties, then what right do your brothers have to hassle you? |
| 30% |
Sit your brothers down and tell them that as much as you appreciate their concern, it's time for them to give you some space. It sounds like you've never given them reason to worry, so they need learn to trust you. Otherwise, what kind of relationship will you have? |
| 16% |
Tell your brothers that they can come and check out the party. They can just walk you there and make sure it's not risky. Maybe they would even like to hang out for a little while--but, obviously, ask your friend if that would be ok first. That way they can see that you aren't doing anything they need to be worried about. |
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42% gave other responses. Some SmartGirls said:
Talk to your brothers, and tell them how you feel. Make sure you tell them that you feel you are responsible and that you aren't going to drink or do anything that you shouldn't be doing. Tell one of them that they can drop you off at the party and see that you guys aren't going to be doing anything bad. You could even get your friend that is throwing the party to reassure your brothers! Finally, make sure your parents say it's okay for you to go to the party (though I'm sure it is)! Have fun! You're very lucky to have brothers that care about you very much. I have sisters, so I know where you're coming from. Try to look at it from their point of view, if you're an older sister looking out for a little brother. Tell them how lucky you feel to have them looking out for you, that you trust your best friend, and if there's any trouble, they will be the first one's you call. It's up to you now. You need freedom to spread your wings and fly.
Thanks to all of you that gave your advice! Please give your
advice for this week's issue.
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The advice represented on this page is the opinion of SmartGirl
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opinion of SmartGirl.org or the University of Michigan.
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