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Results for 07/28/2005 to 08/09/2005

Last week, bubbley gum girl said:

"I think my mates hate me!

I am convinced my friends hate me and it's really upsetting me. They ignore me half the time and when I ask them what I've done, they just shrug their shoulders and walk off. I'm starting to think I should change schools so I can make new friends. Please help!"

 

Do you need advice on an issue? Other SmartGirls can help! Submit your issue to SmartGirl.

411 SmartGirls replied:

6% Make this a time for you to clear your head. Hang out by yourself and take this time to find out who you really are and what you believe. Who knows? When others see how comfortable you are hanging out by yourself, they will want to be your friend!
6% Just ignore them if you really believe you didn't do anything to hurt them. They are most likely acting petty and immature. If they realize that how they are treating you is not getting to you, they will try and be your friends again in no time.
6% Since your friends won't talk to you, try asking someone who knows them well if she knows what's going on and if she can talk to them for you.
26% This is a perfect opportunity to meet new people. If your friends can't even be bothered to explain why they're acting so strangely, you're better off finding friends who'll treat you right. You don't have to change schools to do that.

56% gave other responses. Some SmartGirls said:

  • If they are treating you that badly then forget them and GET NEW FRIENDS. They obviously

  • aren't real friends. Just move on! :)

  • Well you know what's best. If they're making you feel this miserable then maybe its best

  • to move on. You can make a fresh start and make new friends in no time. They've lost your

  • friendship, it's their loss. Your happiness is important and if you think moving schools

  • is the solution, then go for it! Katexx.

  • I think you should talk to your friends and ask them why they aren't talking to you. If

  • that doesn't work than you should make new friends

  • Okay I had that same problem here's my advice STOP WORRYING if you have other firends

  • hang with them and if not make new friends don't make your world revolve around them

  • because it's not that important. And people like that aren't even worth changing schools.

  • I hope I helped!

  • Wow...I go through the same problem. My friends even told me they hated me. When your

  • girlfriends hate you, find some guy friends! They're way more fun anyway, and they won't

  • hate you.

  • Join clubs and other activities this summer and make new mates! These friends aren't

  • friends at all if they don't seem to want to be with you. If you change schools, they

  • will think that they have won, so please don't! You're 13, an independant young lady and

  • you deserve to be treated much better! Good luck hun. xxxxx

  • Make this a time for you to clear your head. Hang out by yourself and take this time to

  • find out who you really are and what you believe. Who knows? When others see how

  • comfortable you are hanging out by yourself, they will want to be your friend!

  • Try putting aside some time to talk privatly with them and ask them why they won't talk

  • to you. If they keep ignoring you, try making some other friends, people who you can

  • trust to talk to you when you want to. And don't change schools, there might be a chance

  • that they'll get over whatever's up!

  • Dear bubbley gum girl, You shouldn't change schools because it's not helpful to run away from your problems. I doubt that all your school mates hate you, also you sound kind of desperate when you ask them why they hate you. It might scare them away. they are not being very kind on their part either by ignoring you. Try finding a new friend or two. I bet their is at least one person you have overlooked that you could try being more friendly to. It might not be in school it could be at your church or local grocerey store. Meanwhile just try telling your school mates how you feel. Then just be polite to them after you've said what you need to say to them. anne

  • I've been in that situation. Try talking to your friends in private (like without other peers around) and ask them why they've been so distant. Explain to them that you're just trying figure out if you've offended them in some way. If they refuse to give you an answer or just flat - out ignore you, consider that this might not be your problem. Try and make some new friends. I know what it's like to feel like your friends hate you, but don't dwell on it too much. If you inadvertantly offended them, apologize and make it up to them. If they're just being fickle, don't put up with it. Make new friends.

  • Hey! There must be other girls at your school, ignore your old friends and make some new ones.

  • Good luck xoxoxoxo improv_princess

  • You shouldnt have to pay for what you havent done, I've been in this situation so many times before. If you still want to be their friends I have two suggestions.
    1. you can pay the price and keep hanging out with them.
    2. You can say "Listen up girls, give me a little respect and tell me the problem you have with me" be sure to say it boldly.

    And if you dont want to be their friends just walk away from them, warn them, not in your loudest voice, but your smallest voice, but still can hear you, they probably will notice and ask you why you left and all you have to do is say to them you told them you warned them and they didn't listen, that will prove to you they are worse that you thought. Hopefully that will help you! Bye!

Thanks to all of you that gave your advice! Please give your advice for this week's issue.

The advice represented on this page is the opinion of SmartGirl users who have responded to last week's Issue of the Week. It is not the opinion of SmartGirl.org or the University of Michigan.

 
   
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