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Results for 11/23/2004 to 12/06/2004
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Last week, ThaBlonde said:
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"First Kiss
My boyfriend and I have been going out for a while and I think he wants to kiss me. The problem is he has kissed before and I haven't even had my first kiss! I'm afraid that he'll think I'm a huge dork if I can't kiss well! Can you tell me what I should do? Do I tell him?"
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Do you need advice on an issue? Other SmartGirls can
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634 SmartGirls replied:
| 12% |
Talk the issue over with a trusted friend who has already had her first kiss. Discuss your fears and ask for tips. |
| 5% |
Prepare yourself by observing kissing scenes from tv shows or movies. If you're still feeling nervous, practice kissing your hand or pillow. It's not the same, of course, but it might make you feel a bit less anxious when it's time for the real thing. |
| 14% |
If you are uncomfortable about kissing your boyfriend, discuss the matter with him. Don't let anyone pressure you into doing something you do not want to do! If he makes you feel like a 'huge dork' then he's not a good boyfriend. |
| 23% |
Everyone has the same fears about messing up their first kiss. Relax and remember that your boyfriend cares about you--not your kissing skills. |
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46% gave other responses. Some SmartGirls said:
Look don't worry just take a deep breath and go for it nobody's first kiss is perfect!
First of all, NEVER do anything you are uncomfortable about. If you feel that he is pressuring you into it, leave him. If he can't respect you and your body he isn't good enough for you. Secondly, has he really kissed before? Boys often lie about these things to make them seem cool. He may have never kissed anyone and feel just as insecure as you. Last of all, kissing is natural, and there is no right or wrong way to do it. I'm the same age as you and never kissed either. I can't say that I'm not nervous, 'cos everyone is before their first kiss.
Why not ask your boyfriend to show you how to kiss? I'm sure he'll only be too happy to oblige! If you are still scared to ask him, then go with the flow and see what happens. If you do kiss and it goes wrong, try to laugh about it and try again. You'll find your style soon enough. Remember, practice makes perfect! quinnno1fan
I have exactly the same problem! I hope loads of people write in for this. I heard that you should just relax and your instincts will take over but I'm scared that if I go in for it they won't!? Help, 14
Everyone feels like that at some point. Perhaps he hasn't had a kiss yet? Just make sure you're not pressured into the kiss and you feel ok about it. Relax and take time to think about it first. You'll be fine.
Everyone has their fears about that 'first kiss'. But every time you kiss someone new, it's like starting all over again. So, even if he has kissed before, it won't matter because you start again with someone new. You have to learn to compliment their kissing style, because everyone kisses differently! Hope this is some help, Ginaxxx
Talk to your boyfriend, and explain that you are worried, if he is nice about it, and understands, then that is great, but if he isn't, then I'd dump him if I was you, 'cause he should love you, not your kissing skills. Also, talk to a member of your family, or a friend, to get things off your chest and learn a few things, and also to boost your confidence.
If you want to kiss him, then go for it! It will come naturally. If you don't want to kiss him, then tell him, if he really loves you, he'll understand and wait. If he doesn't want to wait, then ditch him as he obviously doesn't love you, his loss not yours! Good Luck! X_Fairy Princess_X
I agree with everyone of these options except the one about studying kissing scenes in movies, then "practicing" on your HAND or PILLOW? I mean, GEEZ! Just talk to him, and always, ALWAYS keep in mind that he does care about you and not your kissing skills. Also, keep in mind that this might be his first kiss as well.
Thanks to all of you that gave your advice! Please give your
advice for this week's issue.
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The advice represented on this page is the opinion of SmartGirl
users who have responded to last week's Issue of the Week. It is not the
opinion of SmartGirl.org or the University of Michigan.
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