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Results for 07/18/2005 to 07/28/2005
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Last week, No Name said:
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"My brother
My brother is now 17 and has not spent time with me or anyone in my family for over a year. My brother is always on the computer or with friends. Sometimes he listens to sad or mean/angry music. He is always cursing and saying rude phrases. He was never like this. I think that it is his new friends that are changing him. I miss the old him a lot though, what do I do?"
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366 SmartGirls replied:
| 13% |
Talk to your parents about what you can do as a family to help your brother. They may have noticed that he is changing but they might not have realized how much it has affected you. Your parents may be able to find other resources that could help him (like therapy). |
| 8% |
Don't do anything. Just ignore him. Being a teenager is very difficult, and he is just going through the changes, but he should be better once he grows up a little more. |
| 29% |
You should sit down together and talk to your brother about how much you liked his old self, and about how you miss being around him. He might not know how much his change affects the people around him. Or if talking to him is too hard, consider writing a letter. |
| 6% |
Whenever he's around, do the same things he's been doing lately. Be very obvious about the fact that you're copying him so he's sure to figure out what you're doing. Maybe then he'll realize how upsetting his behavior has been. |
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44% gave other responses. Some SmartGirls said:
He's probably going through a tough time and developing more so the age gap between you is spreading. It may not just be his friends, it'll be his new situation. Give him time and don't ask him for a long chat. Just be friendly and hopefully in a couple of years, he'll be your lovely big bro again! Aurora X Tell him that you're fed up of his behaviour and that frankly you wish he'd never changed. Leave him to think about all of your feelings and if he continues his mood swings then just ignore him back, he may miss you if you change, (by leaving him alone) and so then he will make the effort to make you happier by becoming his own self again. It worked for me. But my sister is really just a pushover under a really scary surface. Catxxxx I don't spend that much time with my parents either, but that doesn't mean that I don't love them. I'm sure your brother still cares about you. Don't go straight up to your brother and ask him what his problem is. Try to make ways to talk to him. Like ask him for help with something. You have to act like nothing is wrong to get through to him. If you come up to him all worried, he'll know wht you're trying to do. Just act calm and talk to him. I think that your brother is just growing up, because my brother use to hang with me, and now we don't even talk to each other ever, since he started high school. He is in college now and I still don't talk to him. What I am trying to say is that, if I had told him, how I felt, we would still talk to each other. So talk to him, no matter how awkward it feels. I know how you feel. Andy
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