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Results for 12/06/2004 to 12/14/2004
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Last week, Kree said:
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"Guilty Conscience
My mom is a hard-working single parent. She is at work a lot. She is very hard on me about a lot of things. Well, two years ago today, I lost my virginity to a boy. The problem is I still haven't told my mom and I feel soooo guilty and I don't know what to do! I can't really tell my mom stuff because she would blow up at me. Can somebody tell me what to do?"
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330 SmartGirls replied:
| 6% |
You've waited this long, why should you tell her now? She has a lot of other things to worry about and you don't want to add stress to her already stressful life. |
| 20% |
Just think how great it will be to get your confession off your chest. Maybe she won't completely understand or sympathize, but at least you won't feel guilty anymore about not telling her your secret. |
| 10% |
Ask someone both you and your mother trust to tell her about the situation. Then the confession will be off your chest and she will know, but you won't have to be the one who told her. Maybe then she won't be as hard on you because there will be someone who your mom can talk to about it besides you. |
| 13% |
You don't necessarily have to tell your mother, especially if you think she will make the situation worse rather than easier for you. Tell another person or people who do understand: your friends, another family member (an aunt?), or maybe even a counselor. |
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51% gave other responses. Some SmartGirls said:
I think that you should keep it to yourself. If she knows, she might get mad and you might get upset. If she doesn't know, she won't get mad and you won't get upset. But, if you still feel guilty, you could maybe write her a letter and leave it on the steering wheel of her car and talk about it when she gets home from wherever she's going. That way, she'll have time to cool off and you don't have to face her when she finds out. :) Well I have a friend that lost her virginity to a boy at the age of 12. She never told her mom, but she hated the fact that she kept that a secret so she told her mom one day. Yes her mom did get mad, but she felt so good about her confession. She didn't really care that she got in so much trouble just as long as it wasn't a secret any more. So I think you should tell your mom and of course you will get in trouble, but you will feel so much better about your confession that you really won't care how much trouble you get into. So I think you should tell your mom. If you don't tell her now, it will be worse when she finds out later, and she'll be even more angry that you didn't tell her when it actually happened. Your mom might be mad, but she can't stay mad forever, she loves you, you maybe just have some problems to sort out in your relationship. You should take this slowly, and hopefully she'll understand. Good luck! Kree, you should be able to tell your mother everything, and if not, what better time to start then now? Trust me, no one will understand you better, and if it makes the two of you feel better, you can go to counseling. You can wait all you want, but the more you wait the worse it will be when she finds out. Seeing as you have waited this long it wouldn't hurt to wait a couple days until she has a "good " day so she might not be as mad, but I think if you sat down and started talking to her about losing our virginity and then after hearing what she thinks about it tell her, that might work better. --Kim
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