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Results for 01/18/2005 to 02/01/2005
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Last week, Susan W said:
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"Dad's Girlfriend
My dad has a new girlfriend and I hate her. Sometimes I wish she would just die. My dad wants me to be friends with her. I don't know what to do; it's really hard. Sometimes I just want to run away or disappear. I like it when it's just him and me and I don't know what's right because she's not mean or anything."
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533 SmartGirls replied:
| 30% |
It sounds like you love your father very much, so I'm sure you want him to be happy. Just know that the love your father has for you will never change just because he has a girlfriend. The two of you have a special relationship that is separate from his girlfriend. Try talking to your dad about the way you've been feeling. He might make a special effort to spend more time alone with you, which will give you time to get used to his new situation. |
| 4% |
Write her some mean notes. Sometimes it's best to try and scare away the new girlfriends. Yeah, dad might be sad for a while, but it'll be worth it because you'll get him all to yourself again! |
| 14% |
Sometimes you should try to compromise. It is hard to start liking someone new, but with work you can learn to appreciate the good qualities about each other. If she's not mean, then you have no reason to dislike her aside from your own feelings of wanting your dad to yourself. Keep trying! |
| 3% |
You should move out of the house because it sounds like you and your dad's girlfriend will never get along. Ask a friend if you can stay with her family for a while, or try living with another relative for a while. |
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49% gave other responses. Some SmartGirls said:
Your hatred for your dad's girlfriend has nothing to do with her. The truth is that you just don't like to see your father with a girlfriend. And to me that is understandable because if my father had a girlfriend, and when he did have a girlfriend, I would hate her too. My advice is that you try to spend some time alone with her and try to get to know her and don't think about the fact that she is your father's girlfriend. Just try to get to know her she might not be such a bad person. If you still don't like her, then maybe it's not meant to be between you and her. I have exactly the same problem! And what's more my dad sometimes gets a bit annoyed when I sulk about her because she is an 'OK' person. When I had 2 meet her I hid my head in the menu and didn't look at her but it didn't really help. I know how your feeling and I know it's hard but if you just don't think about her and stuff then it helps. I hate it that my dad's gf buys me CDs and lends my dad her car and stuff but in the end I have to face it, after all, it means you can get extra presents. But don't act all nice to her just because your dad says so! It's a really difficult problem but soon enough you'll feel more at ease with the subject. This is totally natural but let's be fair, the girlf probably hasn't done anything wrong. You're upset because you no longer have your dad's full attention, but you really have to make an effort with her if you want to improve life there. First ask your dad for one day a week where you can have fun together ALONE. In return, try and get on with the girlf. Chat with her, try and get to know her. If you feel you're getting angry take a deep breath and keep the conversation moving. Good luck!! Ami x It's tough having to share you dad with a "stranger". Try and find stuff you and your dad's girlfriend both like and maybe go out for a girls' night out and learn about each other. If that doesn't work, tell your dad about it in private (when dad's girlfriend is not home). Good luck! --Ashley I just want to tell you to talk to your dad and tell him how you feel. He might understand and help you. Friend with everyone, Sandy. Right now, you and your dad are so close, and that is wonderful. You don't ever have to like your dad's girlfriend, or be her friend. But you have to understand that being the only grownup is really hard. If you are nice to her out of love for him, it will be like giving him a big present. Support your dad's decision to date- he needs you. When you want to date- remind him how supportive you were for him when he needed you!
Thanks to all of you that gave your advice! Please give your
advice for this week's issue.
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