Do you need advice on an issue? Other SmartGirls can help! Submit your issue to SmartGirl.

28 SmartGirls responded:

Help me read this bar graph!

Many SmartGirls had more to say. Here's some of their advice:

• Jasmin, age 12, says:
  I have lots of friends and some friends are cool and some are judgmental, but if these were your real friends, they would respect the choice you made. I would have told them straight up, "Hey, if you're not going to respect my choice of this and start talking behind my back, then I think ou guys shouldn't be my friends. True friends would respect me."
  
  
• Anonymous says:
  Don't worry about these two girls as long as you've got your friends. Talk to them and make sure you tell them how you feel when they say things like that. If it carries on and you don't like it or it upsets you, talk to a trusted adult, maybe a teacher or your mum or dad. Adults give helpful advice because they may have been through a similar thing.
  
  
• Tenakura, age 13, says:
  Hey, your situation is just like mine. The way I dealt with it was to think that maybe I would get a better future than them. Remember that, and never forget it.

• Alice, age 12, says:
  Who cares what your friends think? Do what you want. People at my school throw around words describing things that other people want to do that are way worse than that. No one cares anymore.

• Katelynn, age 14, says:
  I've had that same problem and didn't know what to do! My mom said to forget about them, but my dad said that we're all different and we all need to realize that. I told my friends if they couldn't accept me for being me, then why were we friends? They said I'm too sensitive and needed to get over it. I did and they did, but we're not really good friends anymore. Oh well!
  

• vany23, age 19, says:
  Be yourself. That's all. It doesn't matter what your two friends think about you because what matters the most is that you are who you are. If they think that you're "gay and stupid," prove them wrong by sticking to your decison of being straight edge. Let them laugh about it, because as sure as time goes by, they'll know there's nothing funny about wanting to change, because changing makes you a better person.
  
  
• Mi-Mi, age 13, says:
  Hello Rebecca,
  I like the meaning of "straight edge." Just remember one thing: real friends encourage, fake friends discourage. If they were your friends they would be behind you. Your friends just don't understand your maturity growth. Be strong and be you!
  
  
• pinkgirl800, age 12, says:
  Maybe you can have the same beliefs as a "straight edge" without advertising that you are one. Even if you're not, it can make you seem like a poser.
  
  
• Philomena, age 16, says:
  "Straight edge" does sound stupid. Your friends have a point.
  
  
• Anonymous says:
  It's okay to deny a request to be a friend. I have myself. These names they are calling you are meant to make you feel unhappy. Don't let this get to you. Use your personal power and stick up for what you believe in. Labeling is another type of problem. Why be a part of a crowd when you can just be yourself and do what you want, when you want, without a label like "straight edge"?
  
  
• Alyssa, age 11, says:
  Remember it's not what others think that matters, but you should listen to these girls and what they have to say. Try to compromise with them.
  
  
• Anonymous says:
  Find out why they don't accept it, and if it's a stupid reason find new friends. If they can't understand, they're not worth trying to convince.
  
  
• Andromeda, age 14, says:
  Everyone has opinions. Everyone has their own thoughts and ideas. You have a point, though. Next time they say what you're doing is stupid, just tell them, "What's gay and stupid about not wanting to waste away with drugs and alcohol, not wanting teen pregnancy, and listening to the music I want to listen to? How would you like it if I called your lifestyle stupid? I'm hurt, and you would be, too!"
  
  
• Anonymous says:
  Easy. Talk to them and find out their reason. If it's stupid, which most likely it will be, find new friends. Don't be stupid. They can be saying bad things; better if you're not friends.
  
  
• Anonymous says:
  It was your decision, and I believe in people who believe in themselves. Please, do stick to your viewpoints! Being in a peer group is not everything. Think about the benefits of a healthy life...
  
  
• Bec, age 16, says:
  Sometimes friends look at things from a different angle. To them, what you're doing is 'gay and stupid,' but maybe they don't realize the reasons behind your decision. If they do, then you have discovered who they really are to you. You could go up to them and say, "I thought you were my friends and that you would support me." React calmly and have a lot of confidence in yourself, because what are you going to lose? Especially since you already have friends who respect this decision of yours.

Thanks to all of you that gave your advice! Please give your advice for this week's issue.

Help/Glossary

Reading the Bar Graph:

To read the bar graph, match the height of each bar with the number on the left. That's the number of people who chose that category. You can find the name of the category listed below each bar. The title of the bar graph is the same as the title of the issue.

Hopefully seeing other girls' suggestions will help you think through your own issue. In the end, it's your decision, so make the choice that's right for you! Good luck!