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Results for 27-MAY-02 to 03-JUNE-02
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Last week, Candy said:
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"You see there's a guy I really like that always pokes me. Sometimes it's on the side of my stomach and sometimes it's on another part of my body. Sometimes he'll make comments about my body that are flattering, but nonetheless, I still don't like what he says. He does this to other girls as well. I know that I should say something but for some reason I can't. The worst part of it is that I like the attention. I'm so confused. What should I do?" |
Do you need advice on an issue? Other SmartGirls can help! Submit your issue to SmartGirl. |
120 SmartGirls replied:
| 29% |
There is a fine line between being flattering and being harassing. Let this boy know that some of his comments and gropes are unwelcome and that you'd appreciate it if he would stop. |
| 5% |
If the comments are flattering and harmless then forget-about-it! A compliment is a compliment.
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| 15% |
If it is the attention you like, then start acquiring attention in other ways, such as by excelling on tests, being a friendly and compassionate friend, being a good athlete, etc.
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| 18% |
Ask the other girls that he does this to if they find it offensive. Maybe it's
not just you that feels like he is crossing the line. |
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Some SmartGirls said:
- Tell him exactly what you think. No guy has the right to grope you in any form or fashion that is
uncalled for. If you like the attention, then it sounds like you really don't care. But on the other hand,
be blunt and honest and tell him to take a step back!
- You like him but you don't like what he does? Actions and personality go hand-in-hand. You can't truly
"like" a guy when you don't like what he does. Does he do this to other girls? If so, you should not waste
anytime with this guy. He is a player. If NOT, STILL really TRY to set boundaries. Tell him to stop.
- You can let him know that some of this stuff bothers you - and you can do it without causing him to run away from you or become distant. Be discrete about it and don't do it in front of anyone else (guys or girls). That way he knows you're sincere but you're not trying to broadcast the situation to everyone else. Remember, guys at this age are just as confused as girls. He's probably dealing with all these crazy new feelings he's having inside and most likely doesn't know how to act on them. You can let him know this is uncomfortable for you and still give him a chance to prove he's a great guy!
Thanks to all of you that gave your advice! Please give your advice for this week's issue.
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The advice represented on this page is the opinion of SmartGirl users who have responded to last week's Issue of the Week. It is not the opinion of SmartGirl.org or the University of Michigan.
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