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Results for 20-MAY-02 to 27-MAY-02
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Last week, Kirsty said:
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"Ever since my great nan died a year ago, I can't help but think that it is my fault.
Everytime I go on holiday, someone dies or gets ill. In the hospital, I gave my nan a hug, kiss, and held
her hand before I went on holiday to Menorca. That night she died, alone. I feel guilty about not visiting
my great nan as much as I should of and I feel guilty about going on holiday. I can't stop crying. How
can I get over her?"
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Do you need advice on an issue? Other SmartGirls can help! Submit your issue to SmartGirl. |
114 SmartGirls replied:
| 7% |
Death of a loved one is very difficult. Perhaps you should speak to a grief counselor,
someone at school, or at your place of worship. It is best to talk about these things so that they don't
fester. |
| 4% |
Volunteer at a nursing home, retirement community, or hospital to try and make the lifes of other elder persons more enjoyable. |
| 15% |
Celebrate your great nan's life rather than mourning her death. Persue the things that were important to her and honor her memory. |
| 28% |
It is normal to feel sad, but you shouldn't feel guilty about her death. Speak to your parents and grandparents and let them know how you feel. Perhaps they can help you. |
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Some SmartGirls said:
- You have to always remember that things happen for a reason. As long as you always keep the memory
of your nan in your heart and remember that you loved her, you can get over all the pains life brings.
- It cannot possibly be your fault, in fact, in may be because of you she had a happy and content life.
I don't think for 1 minute that your great nan died because of loneliness if she was surrounded by such
loving family members. Although you are going through a stage of bereavement, try and think about how
happy you made her feel by just being there for her and please don't think it's your fault as it is not
unusual for the elderely to die naturally.
- Remember her for the way she lived, not the way she died. Her death was not your fault, God was just calling her to come back to him. I know what it's like to lose a grand parent - I know what it's like to lose two within 7 weeks. Don't blame yourself! Sure, you'll have regrets, you just never realize how much certain people mean to you until they're taken away from you. If you loved your nan, you didn't do anything wrong. And about the crying, it's okay to cry, I do, too. It just shows that you're a kind-hearted person, and that you care deeply about other people. So don't mourn for your nan. She would hate to see you like this. Get out there and have some fun!
Thanks to all of you that gave your advice! Please give your advice for this week's issue.
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The advice represented on this page is the opinion of SmartGirl users who have responded to last week's Issue of the Week. It is not the opinion of SmartGirl.org or the University of Michigan.
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