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Results for 13-MAY-02 to 20-MAY-02
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Last week, Sharika said:
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"My mom and I have always had a rough relationship and half of it is her fault because she doesn't communicate with me like a mother should. Yesterday we had an agrument and she said things that really hurt me. I started thinking that I should give up on life and commit suicide. My mom tells me she doesn't want me and calls me bad names to my face. She won't talk about my problems and won't encourage me. I don't know what to do and I don't know what to think of myself anymore. So what should I do now?" |
Do you need advice on an issue? Other SmartGirls can help! Submit your issue to SmartGirl. |
91 SmartGirls replied:
| 26% |
Talk with someone who you can trust like a teacher, school guidance counselor, or family member. They will be able to help you deal with this serious problem. |
| 15% |
Write your mother a long letter explaining how your fighting makes you feel. This way you can get everything you want to say, out there, without her interrupting. |
| 13% |
See if you can stay with another family member or with a friend for a while so
that you and your mom can cool-off. |
| 8% |
Join some sort of a program, club, or sports team with your mother. This might
help with your relationship and promote bonding. |
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Some SmartGirls said:
- First of all, whatever you do, don't kill yourself. You're worth more than your mom makes you feel.
If you can't talk to her about your problems, you might want to try talking to someone else, like a trusted
friends or relative, or even a teacher or guidance counselor. There are also hotlines that can help you.
You also said half of the reason that you half a bad relationship with your mom is her fault. Since you
two are the only people in this particular "relationship", if you will, is the other half your fault?
If it is, try to find out what you are doing wrong, and try to fix it. You might also want to find out
why your mom is being so mean to you. You might not want to ask your mom directly why she's mad at you,
that might make her madder. Lastly, try telling your mom you love her. A few words can make a big difference
- if she hears it from you, she might finally start to realize what she's doing wrong, and start trying
to patch things up with you. Good luck, Sharika!
- I had to choose to give you other advice, because I think you should write your mom a letter AFTER
talking to another person, preferably an adult that you trust a lot. I can relate to not communicating
well with parents, but it sounds like your situation is a lot more serious than anything I've experienced.
Whatever you do, don't commit suicide! Please don't do that. You've got so much to live for at 16! There
are people that love you and care about you in this world, and I'm sure that your mom is one of them.
Perhaps she just doesn't know how to show it. That's why writing a letter can help tons. It has helped
me in the past. I wish you the best in your effort to sort things out. And please remember that someone
loves you very much.
- Writing a letter is a good idea that way you can say everything that is on your mind without any interruptions.
And most likely when your mom reads the letter she will not be in a bad mood and her emotions will not
take over the situation. Then just maybe she will finally take your feelings into consideration and see
where you are coming from. Remember to keep your head up and live your life for yourself. Dena, 21
- I have been in a similar situation, and suicide is never the answer. Your relationship with your mother may improve, but if it doesn't you need to realize that life is precious, and that, no matter what your mother may say, you are a good person who will probably go on to lead a great life if you don't give up on it when it's barely begun. It might not seem that way now, but trust me, it will someday. Sarah
Thanks to all of you that gave your advice! Please give your advice for this week's issue.
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The advice represented on this page is the opinion of SmartGirl users who have responded to last week's Issue of the Week. It is not the opinion of SmartGirl.org or the University of Michigan.
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