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Results for 16-OCT-01 to 29-OCT-01
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Last week, Cassie said:
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"One of my best friends loves to borrow my stuff. It is usually something small — like a book, movie, or sweater. Sometimes I borrow her things too. The problem is, she never returns them when she says she's going to. Sometimes she doesn't return them at all. I am getting really frustrated with her but I am afraid to say something because it might hurt our friendship. What should I do?" |
Do you need advice on an issue? Other SmartGirls can help! Submit your issue to SmartGirl. |
153 SmartGirls replied:
| 3% |
Borrow more of her stuff and then don't return it until she gives you back your
things. |
| 37% |
Have a talk with your friend and tell her that you don't mind her borrowing your
stuff as long as she returns it. |
| 12% |
Stop letting your friend borrow your stuff! |
| 2% |
Tell your "friend" to her face that if she doesn't return your stuff
that you'll never be friends with her again. |
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Some SmartGirls said:
- Tell your friend "hey, I don't mind if you borrow my stuff, but you have to return it when you say you will." Sometimes friends need to be given limits. But it's a silly issue to end a friendship over.
- I'd say a mix of a few of these answers…tell your friend that you don't mind her borrowing your stuff (say this only if you dont mind) only if she can return things…if you guys can work that out how about you work out like a date by when you need something back. I know that helped with my friends and me. If that doesn't work just tell her you don't like it at all and if she keeps it up neither of you will like they way your friendship is going.
- This is my money-lending policy, but I think it would work for other sorts of lending as well: as long as she's got something she should have returned by now, refuse to lend her anything else. Be very clear about it: when she asks, "can I borrow X?", reply, "Not until I get Y back." It's a reasonable policy that protects you from the sort of position you're finding yourself in.
- If she borrowed something from you and doesn't return it, then ASK her to return it. Or, tell her that you really need it. Also, the next time she borrows something, just say something like "Sure, but I need it the day after tomorrow."
Thanks to all of you that gave your advice! Please give your advice for this week's issue.
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The advice represented on this page is the opinion of SmartGirl users who have responded to last week's Issue of the Week. It is not the opinion of SmartGirl.org or the University of Michigan.
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